


Never Too Late

by Rozmund



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, starting at S3 ep 8, tw: some mentions of abuse but they are not graphic or frequent, what would happen if Anne was mad about Gilbert's confession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22996018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rozmund/pseuds/Rozmund
Summary: Chapter 13 (Epilogue) is up and that's it for this story! The chapter is literally nothing but them adoring each other and ripping off clothes, so now you've been forewarned. :)What if Anne got mad at Gilbert about his confession at the ruins?I've always thought it a bit weird that Anne was never really upset with Gilbert about the way he confessed and handled things in S3. Given their history, I think it would have been equally plausible for her to think that she deserved better than that confession.This is a bit of an experiment because I'm curious about how it would go if Gilbert got called out on an epic fuck-up and had to try to come back from it.I promise to make it fluffy eventually but I want to watch Gilbert grovel?ETA - Major props and thanks to jacksparrow589 for ideas (and excellent writing on their own works!) (#letthemdealwiththeirshit2020, indeed) and thank you commenters - you're so kind and you give me great food for thought. Anyone else who wants to give thoughts about season 3 can dm on Tumblr at practicallyasleep.
Relationships: Diana Barry & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 393
Kudos: 567





	1. Well That Didn't Go As Planned

**Author's Note:**

> I had a bit of writer's block with my other story, and this was floating around in my head so I thought I'd try to get the creative juices flowing by trying out this concept!

“Just…one thing…”

Anne thought the liquor had gone straight to her head, but apparently not as much as she expected. One minute her head had been full of merriment and…pirates, and now she was shocked back to reality. She blinked, shook her head, and tried to absorb his words. He was still watching her expectantly.

“Are you… _what_?!” His expression went blank, which somehow served only to annoy her further. She shook her head again, the alcohol somehow clearing entirely as irritation flooded her. “Are you…confessing to me right now?”

“Well…yes.”

“You confessed to me by telling me that Winifred’s father can give you everything you want, and I’m standing in your way?” She stared at the ground, willing herself to breathe, and felt a furious heat burning her cheeks.

“No, that’s not what I meant!” Gilbert exclaimed.

“You’ve never confessed to me before, you are courting someone else, and you are here, _now_ , in the middle of the night to tell me that your perfect…Winifred’s wealthy father supports the match and can give you a bright future! What am I missing?!”

“I…”

Anne stood and fled, too overcome to sit and listen any longer. The tears were already flowing by the time Gilbert caught up to her and placed a hand on her arm.

“Let me go!” She shouted, loud enough that the rest of the party turned to the noise. Out of the corner of her eye, Anne saw Diana inching closer to her, watching the two of them warily.

“Anne, please, let me explain,” Gilbert added, eyes darting wildly in panic. She raised her hands to his chest, and his heart dropped when he saw her face in the faint firelight, lip trembling and cheeks streaked with tears.

“Stop. I have wanted to hear this from you for so…long,” she choked out, only now realizing how long she had fought against her feelings, “but I _never_ thought it would be like this.” She laughed ruefully. “I finally get a confession, and it comes with a list of all the reasons why someone else is a better choice.” Diana reached her just then, face full of concern. They had been fighting, but understanding flowed between them in that moment. “Take me home, please, Diana,” she begged, voice breaking.

“Anne,” Gilbert called after her. “That’s not it…I…I love you.”

Her eyes closed, squeezing a few more tears between her lids. “But not enough to ask me to court first, I see. Tell me, if I say no, will you marry her? Will you tell her you confessed to me first? What are you doing, Gilbert?”

Gilbert tried to think of an answer, but he had none, and Diana stepped forward just then. She placed her hands gently on Anne’s shoulders and pulled Anne into her arms. Diana looked back at Gilbert, eyes full of venom.

“Don’t follow us,” Diana said firmly, leading Anne off into the night without another glance back.


	2. Breaking up is hard to do...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...even when you're not in love.
> 
> Gilbert starts his effort to make amends with a visit to Winifred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for your comments and reactions! I hope you enjoy Gilbert's suffering, as I do. :)

Gilbert wasn’t sure how he made it home that night, blinded as he was by tears and beset by waves of nausea. He crept into the house, not wanting to wake anyone and face admitting what had happened. He’d had a chance with the woman he loved, and he had ruined it. Dawn barely crept over the horizon when he’d fallen into a fitful sleep, and he awoke only hours later to catch the morning train back to Charlottetown.

“Blythe, I don’t think you should be going anywhere today. You look pretty sick,” Bash declared as he peered over his coffee cup at Gilbert, who had mumbled his plans for the day as he slid into his seat. Gilbert was slumped over his plate, Hazel’s generous breakfast uneaten.

“It has to be today. I have to end this now.”

“What are you talking about? What happened?”

Gilbert sucked in a breath. “I have made…the biggest mistake of my life, and I may never be able to make it right.”

Bash threw him a quizzical look but said nothing. Gilbert stood suddenly and nearly toppled over his chair. “I should get ready,” he announced, hoping that Bash hadn’t heard the crack in his voice, though the heavy silence that hung in the air suggested he knew exactly how close Gilbert was to breaking down.

“Are you sure you don’t want to…talk, first?” Bask asked, with a gentleness he usually reserved only for Delly.

Gilbert bit back a sob. “If I tell you right now, I won’t be able to get through this, and I… _have to_ ,” he said, fleeing to his room.

. . .

He could only imagine how he looked on the train. He’d spent the ride to the train station trying to calm himself, but he still felt sick to his stomach. _You did this to yourself, you idiot_. If he’d arrogantly assumed before this day that he was wise beyond his years, he now had incontrovertible proof that he was not. _You were so sure she didn’t care_.

Anne was so expressive and open normally, so he’d just assumed he had seen the full range of Anne’s emotions. He’d seen excitement, sorrow, anger…but last night there was something new and he couldn’t get it out of his head. The light had gone out of her eyes, and she had been so…wounded. He was used to her challenging him, so he assumed he knew what it was to experience Anne’s wrath. Then he saw her last night and learned that there was something far worse than wrath. She was disappointed in him. She thought less of him today than she had yesterday, and he deserved it.

He couldn’t change what he did last night, but he could at least try to make it right. It had to start by being honest with the other person he’d wronged. He pushed aside his thoughts of Anne for a while, so that he could practice his apology speech to Winifred.

. . .

“Gilbert! We weren’t expecting you again so soon,” Winifred said brightly as she entered the parlor. Her face fell as soon as she noticed his guarded expression.

She listened to his hurried apology quietly, hands perfectly folded in her lap. “I will admit I am disappointed.” Her eyes shone a bit and Gilbert lowered his head in shame. “Are you sure you won’t feel differently if you give it some time? I do think we suit,” she asked, though her voice was resigned.

“I’m sorry. You are a great person and I truly enjoy our friendship, but I don’t think we should marry. You deserve someone who will come to your father, begging him for your hand for no other reason than because he loves you.”

“Do you plan to beg for some other girl?”

His guilty silence hung in the air.

“Does Anne love you back?”

Gilbert’s head snapped up so fast that he nearly toppled a vase behind him, and his mouth remained open even as he scrambled to rescue it. Winifred thought it rather kind of him to look so silly and pathetic as he rejected her.

“How did you know…”

“Gilbert, are you serious? A girl knows when she has a rival.” She laughed lightly and dashed a lone tear away from the corner of her eye. “I had hoped that it was only a little thing, and my charms and my father’s connections would win over. Apparently not,” she added wistfully. “Have you proposed?”

“No, she doesn’t – I’m sorry, I don’t need to tell you all of this.” He took a deep breath and tried to push away thoughts of Anne before he lost his composure again. “I came to say I’m sorry that I wasn’t honest with you before. I really did think we might suit but…I went about everything all wrong.”

“I don’t enjoy being thrown over for someone else,” she said pointedly, “but I can hardly compete if you’re really in love with her, when she probably can’t secure you a spot at the Sorbonne.” She smiled again when Gilbert nodded in agreement. “You’re making me think I should hold out for a man who loves me that much.”

“I doubt you should take courting advice from me, but I think you deserve someone who loves you exactly that much. I hope he doesn’t take as long as me to face his feelings and admit it, though,”

“Yes Gilbert, I plan to fall in love with a man who is better at courting than you,” she said with an artfully raised brow.

“I deserve that.”

“Yes, you do. Anyway, my father will be disappointed, and he’ll start harping again over the breakfast table that I need to find a match,” she added with a roll of her eyes. “Though at least there are good prospects in Paris.”

“Tell everyone whatever you like about what happened with us. Tell them you rejected me, if you like. As long as the story won’t end up with me in jail or your father chasing me with a pistol, I’ll go along with it.”

“Won’t that be a problem with Anne?”

“There is almost nothing you could say or do that will make her angrier with me than she already is. I managed to ruin my chances there all on my own.”

“You turned me down, including the Sorbonne, even though you ruined your chances with Anne, because you’re in love with her, even though you didn’t admit it until…now?”

“Um…yes.”

“I have read romantic novels less ridiculous than your life.” He really couldn’t argue with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not trying to let Gilbert off the hook here with Winifred, but I thought her reaction in the show was out of character, so I'm making it a bit more subdued. I could see Winifred being more pragmatic about marriage, wanting a good match, but being okay if it wasn't based on passionate love (in a different fic I'd also be totally on board with the 'secret lesbian' theory I've seen floated, but I thought that made it a little too easy on Gilbert). So, she'd be upset to be second place and bummed that she has to find someone else, but it seemed very weird that she'd think Gilbert was in love based on what we saw in the show. I suspect she'd come out of this experience kind of happy that she didn't marry him, because it turned out that he was a little less mature and able to handle himself than she actually thought. He might be ready for Anne but I don't think he's ready for marriage yet, really. She might not hate him but be more like, 'whew, bullet dodged.'
> 
> ETA - I intentionally had Gilbert break it off right away, both because it seemed like the right move, and because then Winifred wouldn't have time to run all over town telling people about an engagement that hadn't happened (don't do this, by the way - it was a bananas crazy thing for her to do). If she had been less embarrassed, she might have taken the rejection better. This way, he doesn't have to wait two weeks to talk to Anne.


	3. Gilbert's Apology Tour Continues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has opinions about Gilbert, much to his dismay.

The train ride home was only slightly better than the one there. At least he had made a clean break with Winifred and he hadn’t let things linger any longer. She planned to leave for Paris in just a few weeks, and Gilbert suspected they would never see each other again. It was a shame, he mused, because he really had enjoyed their friendship. He had tried to force that feeling into something more, though, for reasons having nothing to do with her, and for that he couldn’t return to the relationship they might have had.

He was still feeling about as low as a person could. He hadn’t meant to disappoint Winifred and cause her discomfort, but he had. He hadn’t meant to break Anne’s heart, but he’d done that too. _You might have avoided all of this if you had just…stopped, for a moment, and risked asking her how she felt._ He had told himself, over and over, that Anne clearly didn’t care for him, and then told himself, over and over, that it didn’t matter. He wasn’t used to rejection, or failure, and he didn’t know how to handle either one. He had been good in school, liked around town, admired by the girls, and loved by his father. The only time he could ever remember someone being truly angry with him (other than Anne), was Bash when they fought and he’d nearly left. Gilbert had found a way to smooth over that problem, but he couldn’t be sure that he’d succeed this time. 

_Time to get used to rejection, Gilbert, because I don’t think she’s going to forgive you anytime soon._ This time, he’d take the blows and come back for more. It was better than giving up on her forever.

He stopped at Green Gables before he even returned home. He was torn between leaving Anne alone to cool off for a few days and seeking her out immediately, but he didn’t want her to think that he would just…ignore her after last night. Marilla answered the door, standing with her arms crossed like a particularly irritated sentry.

“Good afternoon, Miss Cuthbert. May I speak to Anne, please?”

“She isn’t here,” Marilla said simply. “She and Matthew left on urgent business this morning. They won’t be home for a day or two.”

“Could you please tell Anne that…I’d like to come call on her, if she doesn’t mind?”

“I will when she returns.”

They stood awkwardly for a moment while Gilbert tried to think of something to say, until he finally settled on, “I hope you have a good day, then, and please give my regards to Mr. Cuthbert, and Anne, of course.”

Marilla observed him silently and gave a short nod. “My regards to Sebastian and Mrs. LaCroix. Good day,” she replied, shutting the door firmly.

 _I wonder what Anne told her_ , Gilbert thought as the nausea returned to his stomach. _I’d better practice a few extra apology speeches._

. . .

Hearing Bash and Mrs. LaCroix having a heated discussion, Gilbert snuck into the house, and brought his dinner up to his room. Bash finally found him hours later, staring listlessly out the window.

“Why you have to go to Charlottetown today?”

“I had to tell Winifred I couldn’t marry her and end things.”

“ _What_? You told me you weren’t thinking of marriage right now. Did you say something like that to her?!”

“Not…in so many words. Her father brought it up last night and he said if I did propose, I would be able to attend the Sorbonne and he’d pay for it.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, wow. I was so shocked – I had no idea what to do. I hadn’t expected him to say something like that. But I know now…I can’t. Even for something like the Sorbonne, I can’t. For lots of reasons but, it wasn’t right to use Winifred that way. I wasn’t thinking at all about proposing to her and doing it just so that her father would get me into the Sorbonne,” he shook his head, “it wasn’t right.” He leaned forward in his seat, head in his hands. “If only I had thought it through yesterday, but after I talked to her father my mind just...went blank. I didn't know what to do.”

“What was the reason you wanted to go to that school anyway? Don’t they have medical schools someplace in Canada? Do you even speak French?”

“To do medical research. I don’t just want to just sit around when I’m a doctor, watching people die.”

“You think that’s all Dr. Ward did for Mary?”

“He couldn’t do anything else!”

“But it mattered to her, having people like you and Dr. Ward around to care about what happened to her. And it mattered to both of us, to have _any_ doctor around. You have any idea how hard it was for me to find a doctor, ever? Did you ever hear Dr. Ward talk about everything he did when cholera broke out in the Bog?”

“No,” Gilbert mumbled.

“I’m not saying you have to choose one way or the other right now. That place in France sounds fancy, and I bet they do a lot of good things. But there’s lots of people who do good things, here, for people who really need them. People in the Bog sure could use more doctors to treat them.”

Gilbert raised his brows and stared at his hands. “I hadn’t thought about it like that.”

“I do think you were right not to use Miss Rose that way, but even if you think you gave up something…there’s more than one way to live a good life, Blythe.”

“I can’t say I’m sure I’ll get to live a good life either way, at this point, after what I did,” he blurted out, finally succumbing to tears. He poured out his heart to Bash like he’d never done with anyone in his life, too miserable to bother trying to cover things up as usual. “…so I confessed, and she was furious with me that I confessed while I was still courting Winifred.”

Bash listened in shock. “It was always Anne,” he murmured, placing a firm hand on Gilbert’s shaking shoulder. “And I don't even get a chance to tease you and tell you I knew it. You never let me enjoy winning, Blythe.”

“Yes, it’s always been Anne, but I just…assumed, that she didn’t feel the same. So I thought I could move on instead of asking her but I can’t and I didn’t and instead I hurt everyone.”

“When did you tell her, exactly?”

“I found her at the ruins last night.”

“Why was she at the ruins?”

“They were having a party after the exams.”

Bash grimaced and continued. “And you told her how you felt?”

“No, that would have been the slightly smart way to do it.”

“So instead you…”

“Told her that Winifred’s father gave me permission to propose and promised that I could attend the Sorbonne.”

Bash was grateful just then that Blythe was still staring at his shoes, for he couldn’t entirely hide his horrified expression. “And then…?” He asked, slightly afraid to hear the answer.

“She asked what was holding me back, and I said her, basically.”

Bash ordinarily prided himself on his quick wit and hard-earned wisdom, but at that moment he was at a loss for words. It didn’t seem helpful to tell the boy that he had probably driven a stake through his relationship with Anne, and it seemed he already knew that last night was…almost mind-bendingly stupid. Uncomfortable silence filled the room, and Gilbert finally raised his head.

“No jokes at my expense?”

“I have nothing this time, Blythe.”

“Me either. She was so hurt,” he choked out, running a hand through his already wildly unkempt hair. “I don’t know that she’ll ever forgive me.”

“You can try making it up to her. You think I never made Mary angry?”

“Did you almost propose to someone else?”

“Blythe, I’m not saying it will work. But it seems like you got yourself into this mess because you didn’t try before.”

Gilbert nodded thoughtfully. “You’re right, and I already planned to try. I just can’t quite figure out where to start.”

“In your case, gifts, songs, poetry,…begging? You might try them all. Can you play an instrument?”

“Do you have _good_ ideas?”

“Begging wasn’t a good idea?”

“Ugh…,” Gilbert abandoned the chair and plopped face-down on the bed.

“Give me some time to think, Blythe! I’ve never almost proposed to the wrong person!”

Gilbert burrowed his face further in the pillows and finally sat up. “She’s gone for a day or two anyway, so maybe I’ll come up with a better idea tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sleep for now. Some things…they just take time.”

“I hope so.”

Bash stood to leave, but turned back as he opened the door. “Hey…I’m here for you, brother.”

Gilbert returned a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thanks.”

. . .

At least the rebuilding of the schoolhouse was a welcome distraction from his current predicament, except when he found some of Anne's signs from the protest in the grass and nearly humiliated himself by weeping in front of a number of prominent Avonlea men. Moody started asking questions, though, which was decidedly less welcome.

“Hey, what was Anne so mad about the other night?”

Gilbert would’ve admitted the truth, but he doubted Anne would want everyone to know. “I deserved it. I said something stupid.”

Moody shrugged nonchalantly and resumed his work, until he asked about Winifred during a break.

“That’s over, actually. We’ve decided we don’t suit,” Gilbert added quickly.

“Did she turn out to be crazy? I know what that’s like,” Billy Andrews said with a roll of his eyes.

Gilbert shot him a warning look. “There’s nothing wrong with her, but we aren’t meant for each other in that way. That’s all.” He shifted the conversation quickly away from Moody’s questions, hoping he could stifle gossip if he kept his answers short and uninteresting.

The conversation was still swirling around in his head as he trudged along the lane to return home. He was so focused on the jumbled thoughts in his head that he didn’t notice a figure approaching from the other direction. It was Diana, who, if anything, looked angrier with him now than she had at the ruins. _Did Anne teach her how to glare like that_?

“I heard you went back to Charlottetown yesterday,” she said without preamble.

“How –“

“Mrs. Pye saw you in Carmody. I trust your fiancée is well?” The ice in Diana’s tone would put Canada’s winters to shame.

Gilbert turned bright red and avoided her eyes. “I don’t have a fiancée. I went there to…end things.”

“Oh? Why?”

“You know why.”

“And yet you didn’t think to end things before you talked to Anne, or not start them to begin with.”

“I know I picked the wrong time to talk to Anne.”

“Yes, do you know how upset she was?! Diana paused, and muttered to herself, “Maybe I shouldn’t – oh nevermind, what could possibly make it worse now?” She cast an assessing stare over Gilbert. “What were you thinking?! You’ve had every opportunity to talk to her! For _years_! Admit it, you’ve been smitten with Anne ever since she first came to Avonlea and smashed her slate over your head.”

He drew in a deep breath and finally glanced up at Diana. She wasn’t wrong there.

Diana wasn’t nearly finished. “There have been countless clues, and you certainly can’t deny that you were beguiled by her at dance practice, even though it turns out you were secretly courting a mystery debutante.” She grimaced in frustration. “Why on earth did you court Winifred when you cared for Anne so much that you confessed to her, even after Winifred’s father offered you everything?!”

Gilbert shrugged and closed his eyes, face full of regret. “I thought she didn’t feel the same way – I was trying to move on, but the courtship…we weren’t in love. It wasn’t like that.”

“You never asked Anne if she felt the same way! Do you know anything about her?! Didn’t you think she was acting strangely at dance practice…at the fair? You’re running around mooning over her one minute and the next you show up with some other girl, in front of all of Avonlea. Would it have killed you to ask, after the dance practice? Charlie Sloane, of all people, put up a take notice! Charlie, who had no chance, but at least he tried!”

“I just…it seemed like she was always running away from me, and…we didn’t exactly get off to the best start. I know it isn’t a good excuse, but it’s the one I have. I’m not expecting you to think I did the right thing.”

“Well that’s a relief, because you’ll die waiting for that to happen.”

“I know it was wrong. I know all of it was wrong. Was Anne…I don’t even know what I’m asking. I want to know if she’s okay. I want to know what I can do to make things better.”

“No, she’s not okay. I don’t – honestly I don’t know what will make it better right now. You broke her heart, and you and I both know she can hold a grudge." Diana watched as his face fell, and he looked as if he had aged a century overnight.

“I at least want to apologize to her, even if she doesn’t want to forgive me. I owe her that much. I’m not…I’m not expecting anything out of it,” his voice hitched slightly, and he turned his face so Diana wouldn’t see the sheen of tears in his eyes.

He watched Diana pace back and forth in front of him, occasionally throwing glances in his direction with an uncertain wrinkle in her brow. “Do you really love Anne?”

He didn’t even bother trying to speak anymore, and merely nodded.

Diana’s pause was longer this time. “If you had the chance, would you want to convince her to choose you? There’s no one else?”

Now his expression shifted from agony to incredulity. How could she think he would want anything else? “ _Yes, to both of those questions_ ,” he choked out, though the words sounded rough to his ears. Diana resumed her pacing. He never knew that young ladies had invented a particularly effective form of torture, but waiting to learn if Anne’s best friend might actually help him surely counted as such.

“Gilbert, I am going to tell you something I'm not sure you deserve to hear.”


	4. Time to Learn a Thing or Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana helps Gilbert, and Anne comes home.

Gilbert couldn’t help but stand up a little straighter and feel a tiny glimmer of hope. That hope wasn’t doing anything about the knot still roiling in his stomach, but at least it was something.

“I’ve thought Anne had feelings for you since you were on the ship – before that, even.” His surprise was evident. “No one else thought to write to you about the gold, and when I tried to suggest that she give your letter to Ruby she was horrified.”

“Ruby? Again?”

“Were you truly not aware that Ruby had a crush on you? She doesn’t anymore…smart girl,” she finished under her breath.

“I guess I was a bit but why does Ruby keep coming up? Why would Ruby get a letter that I wrote to Anne?”

Diana sighed. “I should start by saying that if you tell anyone, including Anne, that you know any of this, I will throw you down a well. Recall that I am not favorably inclined to you at the moment.”

“Do I need to be clearer that I will do anything you tell me to do?”

“That’s probably the smartest thing you’ve said in your lifetime.” Diana rolled her eyes, slightly flushed with embarrassment as she recalled the folly of young girls. “Ruby had dibs on you.”

“ _Excuse me_?!”

“From the day you came back from Alberta, Anne wasn’t permitted to speak to you, and she certainly wasn’t permitted to like you.”

Gilbert’s eyes darted back and forth in horror. “And she had to go along with this? Up until now?”

Diana’s eyes went misty. “I think you’re forgetting what it was like for her, when she arrived. What it meant for her to have any friends at all,” she sighed and leaned against a fence post. “My point is, I don’t think you understand at all why she never said anything, and you’ll keep messing up with her until you do.”

“History would suggest that you are right.”

“Did you know Anne thought she would never court anyone, much less get married?”

“Why…?”

“Honestly, do you pay attention to _anything_?” Gilbert opened his mouth to respond but Diana continued. “Forget that – I already know the answer.” She sighed again and turned fully to Gilbert. “Do you have any idea how many times the boys around here have insulted her? How many times Billy Andrews called her an ugly orphan? How many people have called her orphan trash, and worse, to her face?”

Gilbert’s expression grew more pained with each question. “I know some of it…I punched Billy once so he’d stop hassling her.”

“You don’t get extra credit for that right now,” Diana scoffed.

Gilbert couldn’t help but smile. “Fair enough.”

“But the things she hears from them? It still doesn’t compare to how it was for her before she came to Avonlea. I assume you don’t know what it was like for her?”

“I don’t remember her saying much about it.”

“Because she has nothing good to say. She barely talks to me about it, because she hates remembering, but I know enough. She lived with families to be their…servant, basically. She cleaned, took care of their children. She has never said anything good about it. No friends, no birthday parties, no one to take care of her. All she ever said about the last family was that the father was a drunk, and he collapsed when he was in the middle of strapping her for some infraction or other. The worst part is, she didn’t even say it like it was extraordinary. She told me this story like being strapped was her everyday life.”

If Gilbert thought he felt sick before, it was nothing compared to now.

“She never thought she was wanted, anywhere. Even Matthew and Marilla wanted to send her back because she wasn’t a boy. They did send her back, once.”

“I didn’t know,” he whispered.

“It was all before you came back from Alberta. But anyway, my point is, sometimes I can’t believe the things Anne does. I can’t believe that she’s ever thought she was homely, or that no one would ever love her. But then again, I have no idea what it’s like to live to the age of 13 without anyone caring about me.”

They were both sniffling quite loudly now, and Gilbert fished a clean handkerchief out of his pocket and passed it to Diana.

“I’m telling you all of this because – well, you’re right that you got off on the wrong foot that first day, and she didn’t ever forget it. But even after she had…forgiven you for insulting her –“

“I didn’t mean to insult her!”

“I know, but she didn’t know that. That isn’t the most important part. She thought she put her foot in it with you, always, starting with that first day. The way her life has been…I don’t think she could imagine a world where you would have feelings for her. She didn’t believe that anyone would love her like that, much less you.” Diana paced again, remembering Anne’s excitement on the day of the fair. How she wished she could give her friend a moment like that again.

“You’re right,” he said, voice barely above a whisper, “I didn’t know. She can be so…bold. And confident.”

“And yet you as much as anyone know something about hiding your feelings.”

“I won’t let her feel that way anymore.”

“I wouldn’t get your hopes up just yet, because you made that problem worse, not better. She feels second best, _again_ , when you should have been telling her she was the only one. This part might be worse, really. You’re going to have to convince her that you didn’t ruin your life, or she’ll never forgive herself, especially now that she’s comparing herself to Winifred.”

“There’s no comparing – I don’t love Winifred.”

Diana dropped her head and muttered to the ground, “He knows nothing about women.” She snapped her head back up and stared at him hard. “The time to tell her that was long before now, so now you’ll have to work much harder to make her believe it.”

Gilbert nodded silently, taking in her every word. This would be harder than he ever imagined.

“Oh, and be very, very careful what you tell people. You already created gossip when you brought Winifred here, and it’s going to get worse before it gets better. Keep Anne out of it, keep the Sorbonne out of it.”

“I will.”

“I don’t think you have any chance right now anyway, but don’t try courting Anne too quickly. It’ll make the gossip worse and the last thing she needs is anyone else comparing her to Winifred.”

“You’re pretty good at this. I should’ve asked you for advice a long time ago,” he laughed softly, and Diana couldn’t help but laugh with him.

“I can’t tell you it’s going to work, but it can’t be worse than you going it alone. That didn’t work at all, _obviously_.”

“I don’t care – I’m going to try. It wasn’t the right time, but I meant what I said. I love her and it’s always been her. At the very least, I want her to know that she is the best choice, even if she won’t accept me.” His heart pounded at his last words. The weight of wondering if he would have to live his life without her seemed likely to permanently live on his chest for months or even years.

“Well she just came home, so maybe…try again tomorrow. After the last couple of days, she doesn’t need you bothering her tonight. She doesn’t know you went to Charlottetown so you’ll have to tell her what happened there.”

“Whatever you say, Captain Diana.”

. . .

Anne might have wondered before if it was truly possible for a literary heroine to fill a bathtub with her tears before this week, but now she had no doubt. Between that… _awful_ night with Gilbert and the heartache of knowing that Ka’kwet would remain separated from her family…she no longer found the idea of a ‘graveyard of buried hopes’ very romantic. The night of the party at the ruins, she’d told Diana about Gilbert’s confession between gasping sobs, but after that she was at a loss for words. Diana had kindly stayed with her as long as she could, crouched together in the barn loft so that Matthew and Marilla wouldn’t hear her cries. They had also managed some halting apologies and hugs to mend their fight, but it hardly seemed important now. They were best friends, and they might fight and criticize, but in the end they would never let go of each other.

Anne had no idea what she would do about Gilbert, and her mind was just as muddled when she arose the next morning as it had been that night. Marilla noticed her disheveled hair and distracted demeanor, until Anne finally confessed something of her distress.

“I’m in love with Gilbert Blythe!” She wailed, causing Marilla to nearly drop a pitcher at her sudden announcement.

“Are you sure it’s _love_?” Marilla asked.

“Yes, but…it’s not right, either. I love him but I’m so…angry with him too! No romantical tale ever prepared me to realize I’m in love at the same moment I could want to…throttle him!”

“What has he done?!”

“He’s…I don’t know how to explain it. All I know is that right now, I love him, and I can’t accept him even if he wants me to, and I am… _heartbroken_. It doesn’t seem fair to learn that I’m in love and be heartbroken all at the same time!”

She crumpled into a chair and began to sob again when she felt a hand on her arm draw her up. Anne half expected to hear a lecture for daring to dab her eyes on the tablecloth when she felt Marilla wrap her arms firmly around her shoulders. “There, now, Anne, cry as much as you like. I’m sorry to hear it, dear girl.”

The journey to find Ka’kwet had pushed her misery over Gilbert from her mind briefly, though occasionally she would find her heart pounding and her head swimming as she wondered if, even now, he was proposing to Winifred. She had essentially rejected him, after all. But even as she fretted over the possibility, she wondered if he was really the man she loved, if he could do that. She would never have believed that her Gilbert would use one girl for his own gain when he was in love with another. Or did Winifred know? Did she care? Anne had no good answers, and no idea what she would do when she returned home.

. . .

Anne had to wait only until the next morning to find out. Marilla had noticed her unusual quiet and left her mostly alone. She was in the garden when she saw a familiar figure ambling up the driveway and braced herself to face him. (If she did race behind the house for a moment to wash away the dirt on her hands and smooth her hair, well, it wouldn’t do to embarrass herself while she gave him a dressing down, would it?)

He approached her tentatively and held out an overflowing bushel of apples. She noticed the sheen of sweat across his forehead and realized it would have been quite uncomfortable for him to carry his burden so far. She smiled to herself, just a touch. Good.

“Hi,” he said quietly, not looking at her. “It’s the first basket of our apples for the season. I thought you might like to try them. I won’t pull your hair this time, though,” he added, turning pink from windswept hair to sun-kissed neck.

“I don’t have a slate but that’s the only reason your head is safe,” she replied.

“I’d let you do it,” he said, daring to glance at her for only a second. “I…I just wanted to bring you those and say I’m sorry. I can explain a little, if you want, or I can leave if you don’t want to hear it.”

“You can try, and I’ll tell you if I want to hear the rest.”

“I truly didn’t think you cared – which is my fault, not yours. I missed the signs because…I always believe I know everything. It turns out I know very little,” he said with a painful laugh. “I did a lot of other things wrong, too, but I definitely shouldn’t have said what I did the other night. I thought…I thought I couldn’t give up on love forever unless I was _sure_ you didn’t feel the same, even though in my mind I was already sure. I thought you would reject me no matter what I said. “

He still didn’t look up, afraid he’d lose his courage entirely if he did. “And, Winifred and I…we weren’t in love. We had a friendship and so I guess I thought…it honestly doesn’t matter. I was being…incredibly selfish, and I’m so ashamed. I have apologized to Winifred too, but that is my problem, not yours. We are not courting and she is leaving for Paris without me.”

“You aren’t going to the Sorbonne?”

“No.”

“I’m not happy you gave it up.”

“I am. You were right. I had no idea what I was doing that night, but I realized that I should have declined her father’s offer immediately no matter how you feel. I can still be a doctor even if I don’t go to the Sorbonne, but I want to do it on my own merit. I suppose I should thank you, for demanding better of me than I was demanding of myself. I couldn’t have done it – how would I look myself in the mirror?”

“I hope that’s true. I couldn’t look myself in the mirror if I ruined your life.”

“You could never, Anne…”

She looked down at her trembling hands. “I still don’t really understand any of it. If you had feelings for me, why didn’t you say anything until the last… _possible_ minute? I was going to confess at the fair until I saw…,” her voice broke and a tear splashed down onto her dress.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Jerry called to them from his place by the barn. He crossed the yard to Anne at impressive speed, looking unusually menacing. Gilbert had worried before what an angry Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert might do, but now he wasn’t entirely sure they were his only problem. Was Jerry a violent sort? He had pushed Gilbert that one time in Charlottetown, after all.

Anne sucked in a shaky breath and dashed the tears from her eyes. “It’s fine, Jerry.”

“Doesn’t look fine,” he insisted, eyes never leaving Gilbert.

“No, I just – I need to think.”

“Do you want him to leave?”

Gilbert took a step back, recognizing Jerry’s quiet threat. “I’ll go. If you want to talk some other time…I will. Any time you want. It could be five o’clock in the morning, I don’t care.”

“I’m certainly not getting out of bed early to talk about this,” she declared, a hint of her former fire returning.

Gilbert tried not to smile. “I will see you when they announce our results, then, unless you’d rather I didn’t go.”

“No – you should be there. Does this mean you’ll be going to Queen’s?”

He nodded. She stood, unmoving, giving him a look he couldn’t read.

“You said you were leaving,” Jerry grunted.

“Right.” Gilbert cast one last, longing look at Anne. “I hope you like the apples.”

“We’ll see,” she said quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI – in the books, Queen’s seems to be more like a junior college or upper high school. Anne and Gilbert attend there before attending college, and many students have teaching certificates when they leave Queen’s. I’ve decided to revert to the book’s school plan here, because I think it makes more sense and keeps them together to sort out their issues for a while longer. Plus, if it was good enough for LM Montgomery, ::shrug:: good enough for me.


	5. New School, New Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne has some new friends at school, and Gilbert HAAAATES it. :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized how long this chapter is...sorry?
> 
> Also I cannot tell you how much I love reading your comments and hearing your insights. You make my writing so much better. Seriously. <3

Though he told himself every day that he had to be patient, the wait until school started was miserable. He at least had the apple harvest to keep him distracted, and Elijah’s sudden appearance, though he still spent much of his time taking long, lonely walks, thinking of how he might fix things with Anne. He supposed he should learn to be honest with himself and admit that he hoped to “accidentally” see Anne on his walks as she went on one of her rambles through the woods. A few times he dared to pass the ruins of Anne’s long-abandoned story club hideout, sighing to himself as he admired the place that so perfectly captured her spirit. He hoped she would continue her stories, and in his wildest dreams she might let him read them, someday. He might have even stolen a shell he found among the wreckage, not that he would ever tell anyone.

He spent some time with Miss Stacy, too, discussing his plan to apply to the University of Toronto for the following fall. If he participated in the Queen’s accelerated program, he would be able to finish Queen’s in one year instead of the usual two. Miss Stacy felt confident that he could join her friend Dr. Emily Oak at U of T, as long as his grades at Queen’s were as stellar as his test scores. He began writing his admissions essay immediately, since there wouldn’t be much time once he was busy with school.

He secretly hoped that Anne would join the accelerated program too, though his efforts to casually ask Miss Stacy if she knew anything were unsuccessful. (He missed her knowing grins when his back was turned.) He doubted that any of their other friends would care to take on that kind of course load, so they might share some classes together at Queen’s without their friends to watch their every move. He saw Anne only once, while he waited, on the day that the test scores were revealed. They were both elated to have tied for first on the exam, and they congratulated each other sincerely. Still, Anne made no move to speak to him further, and she hurried to join the girls in a celebration at Ruby’s house. He took Diana’s advice and left her alone, otherwise. It wouldn’t be fair to demand more of Anne than she was ready to give.

He walked into the classroom the first morning, having spent the whole of the previous night practicing his greeting to Anne. It didn’t help that his new roommate was Charlie, who would not stop talking. Had Charlie always been this irritating? The honest part of him knew that he was irrationally angry with Charlie for daring to show interest in Anne and having the bravery to actually do something about it. The petty part of him didn’t care and chose to roll his eyes every time Charlie opened his mouth anyway.

He assumed it would not be difficult to find Anne – her red hair tended to make her fairly noticeable. Except, it turned out, he couldn’t see her at first, surrounded as she was by a half-dozen young men. It wasn’t until one particularly tall, handsome fellow stepped out of the way that he realized the lady in the eye-catching blue dress was, in fact, Anne. He now had no impressive speech in his mind, as he stared dumbly at her and took in the full effect of her long, shapely figure and artfully upswept hair. He knew nothing of fashion, but he knew that Anne was stunning, and he knew that he wasn’t the only one who noticed. The tall, handsome fellow next to Anne was grinning at her like a Cheshire cat, and Gilbert felt certain that “mortal enemy” was not too strong a word to describe this…whoever he was.

Anne hadn’t seen his entrance, because she was deep in conversation with another man who turned out to be Cole. Gilbert’s face was grim as he recalled hearing that she had visited Cole and Aunt Jo before school started. It was Cole who noticed him first, with a hard set to his jaw. He said something quietly to Anne, and she turned to him as he advanced.

“Hello Anne, Cole,” he said, nodding to them both and trying not to stare anywhere he shouldn’t. “I didn’t realize you would be in this class,” he said lamely. He caught Cole’s suspicious raised brows out of the corner of his eye. “I suppose it really isn’t a surprise.”

“It will certainly save me money to do the accelerated program, and I need to do what I can to help Marilla and Matthew that way. What about you?” She asked as politely as she could, though she still wasn’t meeting his eyes.

“I’d like to finish quickly. I am hoping to be accepted to the University of Toronto medical program, but even with an accelerated schedule here it will be many years before I’m done.”

“I see,” she said simply, but he was watching her carefully and he could tell her mind was whirling. Diana appeared at the door to their classroom just then, and Anne stepped away with a nod to her companions. The tall, handsome fellow turned to Gilbert.

“Pleased to meet you, I’m Roy Gardner,” he said, hand outstretched.

“I’m Gilbert Blythe,” he replied, taking the offered hand. It certainly wouldn’t do to offend a perfect stranger in Anne’s presence, on the first day of school.

“Do you know our darling Anne from Avonlea?”

 _Our what now?_ Gilbert hoped he recovered quickly, because he felt his brain had broken in two. He said something in return, but for the life of him he couldn’t remember what it was.

“I know Cole and I were so looking forward to sharing a class with Anne, though Cole made me promise not to cause too much trouble for her in class or distract her from her studies. Not that I could stop her brilliant mind if I tried.”

“I…how do you know Anne?” He was nearly certain that he was throwing all doubt about his feelings for Anne out the door as he was speaking in an unnaturally high tone, but really, who was this jackass?

If Roy realized that Gilbert was jealous, he didn’t show it. “I was in art school with Cole for a time, and I met Anne at one of Aunt Jo’s gatherings. She is delightful, is she not? And that hair…she’s just made to be an artist’s muse…”

“Roy, you’ve had at least a dozen ‘muses’ this year so perhaps we don’t need to do this before 9 o’clock in the morning?” Cole interjected, casting an awkward glance at Gilbert’s increasingly stormy expression. “She already told you that she is not agreeing to be a muse for anyone.”

“Yes, I know, she can make the world more beautiful with her writing, instead,” Roy replied cheerfully. “But still, it’s kind of her to grace the world with those fiery tresses.”

_Fiery tresses? Who talks like this? Just what has he been saying to Anne?!_

“Good morning, everyone, take your seats, please,” the professor began as he bustled into the room.

“Oh, thank God,” Cole muttered under his breath. Anne swept past Gilbert to take the place she had already selected next to Cole. Another fellow in the group that surrounded Anne, a gangly sort with shockingly pale hair, had claimed the seat on her left. Roy clapped Gilbert’s shoulder, and brightly suggested that Gilbert take the seat next to him, directly in front of Anne.

“Is that alright with you?” Gilbert asked her as quietly as he could. She gave him a small nod, though her expression was uncertain.

“Oh, excellent. Anne, is this one as smart as you?”

She smiled warmly. “I’d say we’re constantly competing to decide who is smarter. It would have been easier to decide who was smarter if we hadn’t tied for first on the entrance exam.” Gilbert’s heart twisted with the vain hope that she was smiling at the memory of their years of academic rivalry, even as he feared that it was for Roy’s benefit, instead.

“Perfect, I chose my spot well, then. Perhaps between the two of you, I will manage to pay attention sometimes.”

“I will make you move if you distract me, Roy,” Anne laughed.

“I would expect nothing less, darling.”

The professor began his introduction just then, and Gilbert was grateful for the interruption. He was practically grinding his teeth to dust, listening to Gardner’s fawning, and they had only spent five minutes in each other’s company. _This is going to be a very long year._

. . .

Anne’s first day at Queen’s could not have been more different than her first day at Avonlea school. It was certainly easier to feel confident in Marilla’s beautiful velvet dress with its stylish hat, rather than relying on wildflowers to enhance her appearance (though in truth, she still wished the world were more open to wearing wildflowers with hats. Sometimes the strictures of fashion were horribly dull). It lightened her heart to know that Cole and Roy would be in the same classes, for she missed Cole terribly after he left Avonlea and Roy could be counted on for entertainment. It also didn’t hurt that she had tied for first on the entrance examination with Gilbert. She would never stop trying to prove herself, but certainly it had to count for _something_.

Still, she couldn’t quite tamp down her nerves as she anticipated seeing Gilbert. She had been avoiding him for weeks, still unsure what to say or do. She didn’t believe at all that she had stopped loving him, but now she wasn’t sure it was enough. She _wanted_ to forgive him, truly, but how to even start? She wouldn’t have ever expected him to hurt her as he had, and her heart ached when earlier memories of thoughtful, sweet Gilbert flooded to the surface. Could that Gilbert return, and banish the one she remembered from that awful night? She knew he claimed regret, but how could she be sure? And now that he had seen the myriad other possibilities for his life, what assurance did she have that he wouldn’t regret choosing her someday?

She had remained busy with the early harvest and preparations for Queen’s, so it was easy to avoid seeing him. She also stayed with Aunt Jo and Cole for a visit, and Roy’s constant, exuberant presence was a welcome distraction. Roy was a droll and flirtatious friend, though Anne had no wish for anything resembling a romantic experience (pity the person who tried to tame him to husband material). She was prepared to face Gilbert by the time school began, but she was also grateful that she would have Diana and the other girls, and Cole, and Roy, to give her strength when the time came. What if she had waited too long to speak to him, and he had moved on? Diana assured her that was impossible, and he wanted a chance to make it up to her, but could she be guaranteed of anything anymore?

She had poured out the whole story to Marilla the day that they accompanied her to the boarding house. Marilla was undeniably shocked. “No wonder the boy looked so terrible when I saw him. Bash didn’t say anything when I saw him last week, but even he seemed worried.” She wrapped her arms around Anne again, as she had so many times in those weeks when Anne was obviously nursing a broken heart. “I think you should see what happens. I know you’re sore disappointed and I don’t blame you, but now Gilbert will show you what kind of person he really is. No greater test of character than making up for a mistake.”

“I make so many mistakes, you’d think I would have great character by now,” Anne said with a long-suffering sigh.

“Our Anne does have great character, or we wouldn’t have agreed to send you here. Or did some other girl in our home take first place on the entrance exam?” Anne nearly knocked Marilla over with another hug. “Though,” she gasped as Anne squeezed her ribs, “you could still learn not to be quite so spirited and temperamental.”

“I am a work in progress,” Anne laughed.

. . .

Still, Anne hadn’t quite expected to be…liked, on her first day at Queen’s. Cole and Roy had found her the moment she arrived, and Roy had soon pulled her into a gathered group of students and excitedly announced that they were in the presence of the highest-scoring applicant of 1899.

“Tied, Roy,” she said with a smile.

“Pretty _and_ smart? I assume you have already staked your claim, Roy?” That question came from a boy who looked remarkably like Billy Andrews, though Anne tried not to hold it against him.

“You are in luck, she is far too good for me,” Roy replied.

“Have you all considered that I am here to obtain an education and not to find a husband?” Anne huffed.

Not Billy Andrews laughed. “A modern woman, I see. Well, now I like you even more. What do you plan to do with your education?”

She settled into easy conversation with her new classmates, and it was remarkably fun to talk to a group of boys when they hadn’t already long decided that she was, in effect, an unattractive troublemaker. All the boys except Cole were in their second year and had already spent a year with Roy. This meant they had plenty of stories to tell about Roy, much to Anne’s delight.

“Did you ever find the professor’s chicken?”

“Wearing a chicken-sized bow tie and top hat, yes,” Not Billy Andrews, whose name turned out to be Alonzo, said with a mischievous grin.

She had been too lost in conversation to notice Gilbert when he arrived, though her heart skipped a beat as soon as she saw him. She might not be ready to forgive him, but she was ready to talk, and she was pleased when he walked straight over to her. She worried that letting him sit right in front of her all day might be challenging, but at least she was spared from sitting directly next to him by Cole and a very enthusiastic blond boy from White Sands named Edward. Then again, she hoped Edward didn’t intend to talk about his interest in boxing all year long.

. . .

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, but Anne spoke with Gilbert very little. They were far too busy meeting their classmates and absorbing an onslaught of new material. Queen’s would certainly prove to be very different from Avonlea school. At one point, after their third long lecture of the day, Anne let out an exhausted sigh as she tried to undo the knots from her neck. Gilbert turned and gave her a sympathetic grin that shot straight to her heart. She turned away as quickly as she could.

Finally they were free, but Anne was determined to linger behind to catch up on the next day’s reading. Gilbert also made no move to leave.

“Anne, darling, are you sure you won’t let us walk you to Aunt Jo’s?” Roy asked, leaning over Anne’s desk and giving her a theatrical pout. Gilbert pretended to read while throwing glances over his shoulder, though he stopped when he saw Cole watching him with a knowing look. Gilbert wondered who exactly knew what had happened between him and Anne. 

“Please tell Aunt Jo I will surely arrive in time for dinner, with Diana on my arm, but I need to study for now. You should try it, Roy,” she added indulgently. Gilbert started an exaggerated stretch and turned just in time to see Roy flash Anne a smile that could have powered the sun. Gilbert began to worry that spending countless days in this jackass’s presence would cause permanent damage to his tense jaw.

“Fine then, I will find trouble all on my own.” Roy nearly bounced out of the room, Cole trailing behind him, and Gilbert was left to stare after them with a sullen frown as Anne buried her nose in her books. Finally, he could take it no longer.

“Gardner calls you ‘darling’?”

Anne threw him an irritated glance. “He calls lots of people ‘darling.’”

 _Was that supposed to make it better_? Gilbert wasn’t sure that made it better.

“I’ve just never heard you say anything about him.”

“We aren’t exactly in the habit of telling each other when we’ve made a new friend, now are we?” She asked, eyes flashing.

Gilbert flushed. “You’re right; I’m sorry. I was just surprised because I’d never heard anything about him but…you don’t owe me an explanation."

Anne paused and drew in a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” she muttered before returning to her book. “We aren’t courting,” she said abruptly a few minutes later, and he felt his heart twist again. “He knows we aren’t courting and he doesn’t think we’re going to court. He really is just…I can’t explain it. Roy is just like that. He could charm the Queen out of her crown and he does it to everyone.”

“You should court someone, if you want to,” he said, though the nausea that had become his constant companion returned fiercely even as the words escaped his lips. He didn’t dare to look at her.

“I think I’ve had enough of courtship for now. I have too much studying to do, anyway.” She sighed and looked away from him. “I have more questions for you, but every time I think of them I don’t know where to start.”

“You can ask them any way you like, Anne. I meant it – whenever you want to talk.”

Still she kept her face turned. “U of T, you said?”

“I’ve talked about it with Miss Stacy and she thinks my chances are high as long as I keep my grades up. They have good patient care programs and good research. I’ll have the ability to try them both and decide what I want to do.”

“I guess you should be studying hard then, too,” she said, voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded and smiled softly. “Oh!” He exclaimed suddenly. “I almost forgot – I’ve been meaning to return this for weeks. Sorry, I should have asked you before if you wanted it.” He pulled her fountain pen out of his pocket and placed it in front of her. “I had the ink refilled so you would have plenty for now.”

“Thank you,” she said, finally looking into his eyes for the first time all day.

“Thank you for lending it to me.” He couldn’t quite tear himself from her gaze as he searched for something else to say. “Do you mind if I ask you a question about the reading?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could do a whole long explanation about why I kept these two apart for a few weeks. Suffice it to say it’s intentional. Also, the Queen’s accelerated program was a thing from the books and both Anne and Gilbert finished in a year. So again, I’ll shamelessly borrow.
> 
> Yes, this is the return of our poly disaster Roy Gardner, because I love him and I can’t stop writing him (only this Roy though, most Roys I could live without). It’s the same Roy from the two Roy-centric fics that I did before (and yes I also did a fic where Roy was an abuser, and boy was it confusing to write them both at the same time – don’t do that to yourself by the way. Lesson learned.). In this case, Anne and Roy are friends and he adores her just as much as he did in the other fics, but he doesn’t know about her history with Gilbert. As always, Anne does not have romantic feelings for this Roy. So, he’s not trying to piss off Gilbert on purpose, he’s just very, very good at it naturally. 😊 He won’t have nearly as big a role here as he did in the other fics, but I thought it would be fun to include him a bit. If you want to read Roy playing straight-up matchmaker (https://archiveofourown.org/works/21270767/chapters/50643905) (this is a post ep 6 canon divergence but Roy is having a lot of fun and I intentionally made it funny - this is the one to read if you ever thought you needed a Gilbert/Roy frenemy penpal AU in your life), or telling Gilbert that he’s stupid and throwing him to the ground (https://archiveofourown.org/works/21636814/chapters/51593824) (canon compliant through the end of S3 ep 10, still funny but Roy is harder on Gilbert), enjoy!).
> 
> Also, I’ve decided that I miss Cole and want him around, so he’s here too. Also, since I wanted all of them in the same class, Cole’s decided to buckle down with academic work this year, with this help of his tutor Anne, so that he can graduate in one year and attend art school in Europe with Roy next year. I don’t think I’d put this Roy and this Cole together romantically, because I choose Cole to be monogamous gay and Roy will bang literally anything that moves, so they’re just good friends.


	6. T-R-U-C-E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for these two to start talking and being…maybe…friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been absent here for days, so I’m very sorry for missing your lovely comments - I will get to them soon. It has been a hard few days for me: some dear friends suffered a terrible tragedy, and we are now self-quarantined and trying to figure out how to do speech and developmental therapy for a kid from home (spoiler alert: not well, that’s for sure) and overall things are…tough. But, it makes me happy to write, and to hear from all of you, and so I am very thankful for you. 
> 
> I know the last few weeks have been hard on a lot of us and they’re likely to get harder still. If you ever need an ear, don’t ever hesitate to reach out. I don’t promise brilliant solutions, but I am a firm believer that we’re all trying to get through life on this planet together, and we should support one another.
> 
> Anyway, I hope Shirbert starting to make up is some kind of bright spot in the day. 😊

After two hours of serious study, Anne hurried to pack up her things and Gilbert scrambled to do the same.

“I’ll walk you home…if that’s alright,” he added nervously. She gave him a small smile and nodded. They both blinked at the still-bright September sun as they left the quiet gloom of the school. 

“I need to get Diana so that we can make it to Aunt Jo’s in time. She insisted on a celebratory dinner for the first day of school,” Anne explained after Gilbert asked if they should walk directly to Aunt Jo’s.

“I heard you visited her before school started…and Cole,” Gilbert added, trying to keep his voice neutral. “I’m glad you have them…here.”

Anne watched him silently for a moment as emotions flitted across his face that she couldn’t interpret. “What’s wrong?”

“I…” It seemed unfair to tell her the truth.

She stopped their walk with a hand on his arm and stared at him hard. “Are you…jealous?”

She knew she was right before he even spoke. “Yes,” he replied softly, though he wouldn’t look at her. “But that’s my problem, not yours.”

As she watched the pain on his face, she could take it no longer. She wanted to give him the chance to be the Gilbert she remembered, and the Gilbert she remembered didn’t deserve to look like that.

“Look at me,” she whispered. “Did you hear what I said that night? That I wanted to hear a confession from you?”

He swallowed hard and nodded.

“I still do…or at least I might. Cole, Roy, they’re just friends and they’ve always been just friends. Whatever is happening with us right now…it isn’t because I have feelings for anyone else.”

His sigh of relief was far more forceful than she expected. “I hope it goes without saying that the same is true for me.”

“And…I missed you.” She made this declaration without a hint of fear or embarrassment, holding his gaze firmly.

“Yeah?” His surprise was evident, but he didn’t bother hiding his elation.

“Could we try starting over?” Anne kept her tone light but friendly, and it still took everything Gilbert had not to immediately cry, or pull her into his arms, or engage in one of the hundred other humiliating and overwrought actions that sprang to his mind. Instead, he inclined his head at her in acknowledgment and raked a shaking hand through his hair as he searched for something clever to say.

“Should I start by telling you my name, then? We might need to go back that far.”

“Maybe we just need a T-R-U-C-E,” she joked, flushing a gorgeous shade of pink that made it impossible for Gilbert to tear his eyes away from her face.

“And we should be honest with each other?”

“Yes, it would seem the time has come for us to try that,” Anne said wryly.

“Then to be honest, I think you look beautiful today.” Now he stared at the ground again, unable to completely overcome his nerves. He missed the delighted grin that briefly crossed her face. “You look beautiful always, but maybe…I just missed you like crazy.”

“Then to be honest, your new suit looks…very nice,” she admitted with a small arch to her brow.

Suddenly his stomach felt better than it had in weeks. They lingered at the door for a moment when they arrived back at Anne’s boarding house, thought they were soon interrupted by Diana, who was not at all interested in hearing a lecture from Aunt Jo if they were late. When she saw Gilbert standing with Anne, though, she smiled in approval.

Ignoring their audience for a moment, Gilbert decided to try his luck one more time. “So, would you like to study together tomorrow? We did pretty well on the entrance exam when we studied together.” Anne agreed, and Gilbert resumed his walk home, an unfamiliar but welcome feeling welling up inside his heart – a hint of hope.

. . .

The second day of school was easier, though Gilbert suspected his nerves wouldn’t truly subside for…well, maybe ever. Maybe one day, if he convinced her to marry him. Roy Gardner was still the bane of his existence, but he tried to remember what Anne said yesterday and not let his imagination run wild. Despite the jealousy he couldn’t entirely shake, it warmed his heart to see the reception she received when she entered the classroom that morning. He recalled what Diana said, about what Avonlea school had been like for her when she started. Now she was receiving waves, admiring glances, and questions about homework. It didn’t seem she’d need his protection from bullies anymore, thank God.

Still, she walked straight past her new admirers to his side, and he nearly couldn’t stop himself from bursting with pride and throwing his arms around her right there. He really would have to be careful not to overdo things.

He’d also thought of another idea the night before, to make her smile during their study sessions. He turned to her as the rest of the class shuffled out of the room that afternoon. “I brought apples this time, in case we needed a snack.”

“Giving me an apple on my desk? Doesn’t this usually go badly for us?” Anne laughed.

“Can I help it that I always want to give a cute girl a snack?”

“Is that what you were trying to do back then?”

“Yes, I was hoping to impress you.”

“Wow, that wasn’t what I thought at all.”

“I know. I’m sorry...back then I really didn’t think it through. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.” His eyes were soft and regretful again, and Anne felt the wall she’d built around her heart crack, just a bit.

“I didn’t mean to ignore you – at least, I didn’t _want_ to…”

“You don’t have to explain. I think…we had a lot of misunderstandings. I’m just glad you started talking to me, eventually.”

“Me too. By the way, those apples you brought to my house – they were delicious.”

“I’m glad.” Gilbert was smiling bashfully to himself, making Anne smile with him.

“Jerry ate half of them himself.”

“Oh? Why didn’t you tell him to get his own apology apples?”

“Jerry has his own girl problems and no apples, so…” she shrugged.

“Really?” Gilbert leaned forward with interest.

“I really would tell you more, because I’m resolved to be honest with you, but I cannot, because it isn’t my story to tell. But, the least I could do was give him a few apples.”

He walked her home again, and Diana nearly pounced on her the second she closed the front door.

“Two days in a row?! What is going on?” She whispered urgently, afraid to let their roommates overhear and risk gossip already.

“We have a truce, and for now that’s enough. It’s nice to try…being friends,” Anne said with a laugh. “Let’s see what happens when I don’t yell at him or run away from him all the time.”

“I suppose that can’t hurt,” Diana agreed.

. . .

The first couple of weeks passed quickly, and Gilbert and Anne saw each other only when they studied or when their friends arranged outings. Gilbert was careful not to push too fast and resolved only to make himself the best study partner in Canadian history, until Anne was ready for something more. It came as a surprise to no one that they studied together, for they quickly reestablished their longstanding rivalry to sit at the top of the class ranking. Occasionally their classmates would join them for a time, but it seemed no one could study as much as the two of them, so they managed to steal some time alone.

Gilbert suspected, though, that some of their classmates were less interested in study than they were in Anne, much to his chagrin. Anne found herself inundated with questions from young men, and several of them seemed to forget that Gilbert was equally successful in academics. One day, as Alonzo monopolized Anne’s afternoon for an hour by asking her increasingly inane questions about natural sciences, Gilbert finally interrupted in annoyance.

“You know, I am applying to medical school, so I have studied the subject quite a bit. I’d be happy to help you with your assignment so Anne might finish her essay sometime today.” Alonzo glared at Gilbert for a beat and declined, though he did leave a moment later, still eyeing Gilbert suspiciously. Anne and Gilbert exchanged glances and she whispered a soft thanks.

It did not help that Roy Gardner had noticed Anne’s newfound popularity and was more than happy to ensure that she enjoyed it. It seemed he had been keeping a mental tally of young men who would be interested, though Gilbert’s name was strangely never on his lists, and Gilbert was forced to listen to the dandy jackass plan out the myriad ways that Anne could take advantage of sampling a string of suitors. Cole seemed to ignore his plans entirely, so finally he took his campaign straight to Anne.

“I’m just saying, Edward is a jolly sort and his family has a lovely yacht.”

Anne’s gaze flickered to Gilbert, who was doing his very best not to react. “We live on an island, Roy. It is not difficult to find boats. I don’t think I have to court someone for a boat ride.”

“ _Yacht_ , darling Anne, yacht. Much nicer than a boat. It might be at least fun to try.”

Anne fixed her troublemaking friend with an amused stare. “I do not want Edward to call on me, and I do not need a suitor. Stop trying to play matchmaker.”

“You ruin all my fun, darling,” Roy pouted.

“You and I both know that’s not true,” Anne laughed. “Unless you think I don’t know about the girl from the millinery.”

. . .

Then one Monday morning shortly after school began, Gilbert found Anne staring off into space, looking morose. When he asked what was wrong, she poured out the story of her search for information about her parents. He listened with a heavy heart to the whole story, finishing with the letter she’d received from Scotland that weekend. Matthew and Marilla had brought it themselves, just in case, but it turned out to be another dead end. A solitary tear slid down her cheek, and he wished for all the world that he had the right to wipe it away and wrap her in his embrace.

He settled for a sorrowful look. “I’m so sorry, Anne.”

“There might be one other place I could go…,” Anne considered briefly as her voice trailed off and her lips quivered.

“Where is that?”

“The woman I lived with when I was little. Mrs. Thomas. I suppose it’s possible she knows something.”

“You would have to travel to Nova Scotia to find out?”

She nodded, though her gaze was fixed on the wall and her mind seemed far away. “I haven’t seen her in years, though.”

Gilbert could hear the uncertainty in her voice and remembered Diana’s words. Mrs. Thomas was probably not any kinder than her other families.

“Would you like some company, when you go?” He asked, a slight crack in his voice betraying his nerves.

She stared at him in surprise, until the storm clouds suddenly cleared from her eyes and he saw a smile he hadn’t seen in ages.

“Yes, I would.”


	7. Road (Ferry?) Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert start spending more time together...
> 
> (We are in the slowburn phase. I promise I won't let it last too long.) :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all are taking care of yourselves, and I'm sending out virtual hugs.
> 
> We are in the "making daily school schedules and baking" phase of our self-quarantine. I like the baking part best. :)

Gilbert tried to remember a day when he had been as nervous as he was now, but it seemed that none existed. He planned their trip to Nova Scotia as though invading a country. He spent the night before making sure his suit was perfectly neat and pressed, and going over every contingency. Money for emergencies, food, books, topics of conversation, ways to fix things when he inevitably said something stupid…. Even Charlie noticed his odd demeanor and asked where he was going the next day.

“Just a quick trip to see a friend, but I don’t want to forget anything,” Gilbert replied noncommittally. Anne had agreed to meet at the dock, not wanting to answer too many questions from their friends. It was a shame that he couldn’t tell Charlie what he was really doing, for it would have saved him immense frustration.

“I was planning to go to the girls’ boarding house tomorrow afternoon, but Anne said she isn’t going to be there,” Charlie said with a shake of his head. Gilbert feigned interest in some nonexistent lint on his suit and ignored his roommate.

“Why?”

“Tillie told me suitors are only permitted to visit on Saturdays between 2 and 4.”

“Oh.” Gilbert was now hardly paying any attention to his roommate, since he was instead wondering if any of his other classmates had learned about these visiting hours and tried to pay a call to Anne. He tried to remind himself that they had resolved to be honest with each other, and she hadn’t said anything. It was likely she hadn’t given anyone leave to visit, even if they tried.

“We’ve been here for weeks, and you still don’t know about visiting hours? Are you really not planning to go for _anyone_ this year? Queen’s girls aren’t good enough after that other girl?”

Gilbert didn’t bother to hide his eyeroll. “No, that isn’t it at all, I’ve just been busy with school.” He certainly wasn’t going to share anything else about his plans.

Thankfully, Charlie’s interest in Gilbert’s love life did not run deep. “Has Anne said anything to you about the midterm reception? I heard Edward Mitchell wanted to ask to escort her, but I don’t know if she’s agreed.”

“No, she hasn’t said anything about it to me,” Gilbert sighed.

“It’s just lucky that she hasn’t started courting Roy. I really thought they might, considering how much he talks about her.”

“Roy doesn’t exactly ‘court’ so I don’t think there is much risk there.”

“I’d still like it better if he would stop mooning over Anne all day.”

It seemed unfair to Gilbert that he both agreed with Charlie and wanted _him_ to stop mooning over Anne, too, but he supposed that was the price he paid for his stupidity. Perhaps someday he’d be able to politely tell the both of them that Anne was already taken. He allowed himself a small smile at the thought. What a lovely day that would be.

. . .

They were both a bit nervous on the ferry ride over, but they soon settled into conversation about safe topics, like classes, and Delly. They both planned to return home after midterm exams for a short visit, and Anne couldn’t wait to see everyone.

“What if she’s started taking her first steps while we we’re away?! I don’t want her to grow up while we’re not there!” Anne exclaimed.

Gilbert tried not to betray his feelings as she spoke, but really, sometimes it was too much. He couldn’t listen to her talk about how much she adored his family without wishing desperately that she would be an official part of that family. Did she have to make him ache with longing every time she spoke?

“It is so exciting to watch babies grow up and become so curious. I suppose that’s what I love about the idea of being a teacher – molding young minds and watching them grow and all that. As long as I keep twins out of it. Three sets of twins will cure anyone of wanting to teach twins!”

“When did you care for three sets of twins?” Gilbert asked in shock.

She told the story of her time with the Hammond family matter-of-factly, without much embellishment beyond stories of the children. Gilbert listened quietly, thinking of the carefree life he’d led until his father became ill. When Delly arrived, he’d barely known how to hold a baby, much less take responsibility for three sets of twins.

 _Diana’s right_ , he thought with a lump in his throat, _I’m not sure she had a carefree day ever_.

Gilbert did everything he could to play the part of the perfect gentleman, and he loved every minute of escorting her around on his arm. Anne grew quiet as they drew closer to Mrs. Thomas’ house, though, and Gilbert wished for all the world that there was another way to learn about her parents. Whatever had happened in that house, it was clear that Anne had no desire to return.

Anne rapped loudly on the door, and they waited with bated breath as they heard someone move slowly through the house and open the door. “Well, well. My memory ain’t what it used to be, but there’s only so many folks have that carrot hair,” Mrs. Thomas grumbled.

Gilbert winced slightly at Mrs. Thomas’ words, and he could see Anne struggling to formulate a response.

“Who’s the fella?” Mrs. Thomas demanded.

“He’s…” Anne’s voice faltered.

Gilbert removed his hat swiftly and inclined his head. “Gilbert Blythe, ma’am. Anne’s friend. I am just here to see Anne home safely.”

“Still doing foolish things then is she?” Mrs. Thomas said with a grunt. “You best make sure she doesn’t fall off the ferry.”

Gilbert could see the angry color rising in Anne’s cheeks, her hands gripping fistfuls of her skirt, and for a moment he feared they had made a grave mistake. Then in the next moment, she drew in a deep breath and straightened to her full height.

“He is an excellent escort and would allow no such thing to happen, Mrs. Thomas. I don’t mean to bother you –“

“Well that’s good because I’m an old woman with no money, so it’d be of no use to you.”

“I only wished to ask a few questions about my parents, or to see if…if you remember anything they might have said about where they came from, or –“

“Came from Scotland, they did, but I can’t say as they ever said more than that.” Mrs. Thomas eased slowly into a chair. “You know they weren’t there long before they took the fever and left me with you.”

Now it was Gilbert’s turn to struggle with holding back. Mrs. Thomas left no doubt that Anne’s presence in her life had been a burden. He wanted to put his arm around her and whisk her away, but not until after he gave this woman a piece of his mind.

Anne, on the other hand, soldiered on. “They didn’t happen to leave anything, did they?”

Mrs. Thomas shrugged. “I kept things in that curio you used to look at. You could try in there.”

Anne and Gilbert rifled through old knickknacks and blew dust from book covers, until finally they discovered their treasure – The Language of Flowers. Anne read the inscription, from her father to her mother, with tears in her eyes. They hastily thanked Mrs. Thomas and hurried back to the ferry with the book clutched to her chest.

Her joy on the journey back was palpable, and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her beaming face. Only the fear of pushing too fast and Diana’s voice in his head, warning him not to risk gossip, stopped him from reaching out to her. He longed to tuck her hand into his and let her settle her head on his shoulder as they enjoyed the gentle rocking of the ferry.

Anne beamed when she opened the back cover and saw the picture of her mother. “So that’s where you got your good looks,” Gilbert said with a grin. Anne couldn’t help but grin back, though she said nothing.

It turned out that Anne had brought provisions as well, so they spread out the food on the ferry bench, sitting shoulder to shoulder as they pored over the pages of her mother’s book.

“Why are there so many flowers for insults?” Anne laughed. “Who would bother to spend money on flowers just to send them to a foe?”

“It’s certainly not how I’d deal with Billy Andrews,” Gilbert agreed.

“Diana said you punched him once.”

“Did she now? I was under the impression that conversation was confidential.”

“Apparently you didn’t know this about women, but there is no such thing as confidential when it comes to best friends.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“So you punched him so he’d stop bothering me?”

“In effect, yes.”

Anne paused, fiddling with a button on her coat. “He didn’t really bother me after that, for whatever it’s worth.”

“I’m glad. I didn’t like leaving and not knowing what he’d do. I worried about it when I was on the ship.”

“I worried about you while you were on the ship.”

“I see,” he said simply, though he didn’t bother hiding his grin.

She was looking away from him then, so it was a little hard to hear her next admission, but he heard enough. “I wrote to you because…I guess I felt something for you, even then. I told Marilla I didn’t, though. I told myself I didn’t,” she nearly whispered, still staring off at the approaching shoreline.

“I think…you had good reasons,” he replied. His heart was pounding, but she still wouldn’t look at him.

“If I learned anything after that article about Billy, it’s that you can do something for what you think are good reasons, and it’s still a mistake.”

“I know what that’s like,” he murmured, and he saw her glance at him out of the corner of his eye.

Anne took a deep, shaky breath.

“You’re still sure it was a mistake?”

“I’ve never been more certain of anything. As if I needed more evidence, I made you cry, which I can assure you I never want to witness again in my life.”

“It wouldn’t have happened if I’d understood my feelings better. I was so…terrible to you sometimes. Is it any wonder you found someone else?”

“Whatever you did, I deserved plenty of it, and you seem to be forgetting that you did plenty more to attract me in the first place. And none of that was stopping me from asking you how you felt, and certainly you didn’t force me to ask you the way I did.”

“Still, it wasn’t just your fault.”

“Didn’t you say you planned to confess at the fair?”

She nodded, and he hated seeing the pained expression on her face. “You were daring to do something I couldn’t bring myself to do. Don’t underestimate your bravery.”

The ferry was pulling up to the dock just then, interrupting their conversation. After they disembarked, they stood awkwardly at the docks, neither really wanting to depart.

“Thank you for coming,” Anne finally started.

“I’d go anytime.” Her face was still pensive, and he decided the time had come to try a little harder. “Anne?”

“Hm?” She asked, her brows raised.

“Did Diana tell you anything else? About that conversation we had?”

“Some of it, when I was finally ready to hear it.”

“Did she tell you that I wanted to convince you to choose me?”

“Something like that,” she nearly whispered.

“Whatever else happened before, that is always what I have wanted, but…I want to earn it. I’m not in a hurry. Let’s just - let’s try this. There’s someplace…I always wanted to go. I’ve never been…I just…I always pictured going there with you. How about I take you on a proper outing?

“A proper outing?”

“We have fun, we laugh, I’ve been told we’re not supposed to argue –“

She rewarded him with an indulgent grin. “I don’t think we can manage that.”

“We won’t talk about who should be at the top of the class, I promise,” he laughed. “But I’d like to try it. A special day, just the two of us. No other expectations and no one else has to know. Just…enjoying each other’s company.”

“I’d like that, too.”

“Next Saturday, then?”

“Next Saturday.”

Gilbert broke out a boyish grin that nearly melted her on the spot. “If this keeps up, I think I’m really going to like Saturdays.”


	8. It'll Always Be You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert have a very, very enjoyable outing. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all - I hope you're taking care of yourselves. :) I find myself incredibly busy these days, despite being stuck inside, so apologies when I'm slow with comments. I love hearing from all of you and as always, I hope these stories help bring a smile to your face in tough times. <3

On Sunday, Anne and Diana hurried over to Aunt Jo’s for their weekly tea. Aunt Jo was thrilled that Diana was attending Queen’s as well, but she insisted on regular visits so that she could ensure that “her girls” weren’t getting up to trouble (or at least that the trouble was harmless).

Anne had said very little about her day with Gilbert after she returned from Nova Scotia, and Diana could hardly find a moment alone with her to press for details. Diana was desperate to learn if they’d made any progress, and once she cornered Anne late that night, she was dismayed to discover that they still hadn’t kissed.

“Not even _one_?” She whispered, not wanting their friends to overhear.

“He said he’s not in a hurry.”

“But kissing. Is. Fun. Anne.”

Anne flushed crimson and rolled her eyes. “I am sure it is, but I am concerned about greater issues first. Shouldn’t a kiss happen only when your heart is pure and unencumbered by doubt and fear?”

“I know overthinking isn’t a new thing for you, but you are very much overthinking this.”

Anne ignored her further attempts to bring up the subject. Instead, she quietly scratched away at a secret writing project, refusing to answer any of Diana’s questions about that, either. In short, she was driving Diana crazy.

Once Rollins ushered them into Aunt Jo’s luxurious parlor, they settled into the overstuffed chairs as they always did. They sat up ramrod straight, prepared to use their most ladylike manners, as is expected at tea. Or so Anne thought.

“How are you ladies?” Aunt Jo began politely.

“Anne spent _all day_ yesterday with Gilbert Blythe, traveling to Nova Scotia and back, and she still doesn’t know if she should agree to officially court!” Diana burst out, throwing up her hands in exasperation.

“Diana!” Anne exclaimed, whipping her head to glare at her best friend for her utter betrayal.

“What? I’ve thought about it all night and all day and I think that you are going overboard, dear.”

Aunt Jo watched the exchange with interest, lips pursed in amusement. “Romantic troubles, Anne-girl?”

“It is more complicated than that…” Anne trailed off, fiddling with her teacup.

Diana sighed dramatically. “Aunt Jo, may I take a look at your sheet music? I have been looking for some new materials.” Aunt Jo nodded. “Thank you, and in the meantime, perhaps you can talk some sense into her.”

“I’ll do my very best,” Aunt Jo replied gravely. Diana hurried out of the room, impervious to Anne’s pleas. “Now, Anne-girl, what is all this fuss that has Diana disrupting tea in hysterics?”

Anne gave up and relayed the entire story, from country dances and fairs to disastrous bonfires and planned romantic outings. She did find, to her surprise, that telling the beginning of the story was easier than it had been with Marilla, now that the end of the story contained happy memories. Still, her troubled heart hadn’t entirely eased.

“It all seems so wonderful but…how can I be sure? Even now?”

“Anne, if you plan to spend your life trying to avoid pain, you will be bored and alone. That isn’t like you.”

“But this is different!”

“Is it? It isn’t different than how you love your family or your friends, even if it is a romance. Romances aren’t perfect any more than those relationships are perfect.” Aunt Jo leaned forward and set her hand over Anne’s. “I loved Gertie with all my heart, but we made mistakes…she hurt me, a time or two. I hurt her, too.”

Anne took in this news silently. She had never imagined that Aunt Jo’s grand love with Gertie had been anything less than perfect.

“From what you’ve told me, neither of you had much guidance about romance,” Aunt Jo continued. Anne shrugged her agreement, because that was surely true. “I think he was a scared boy pretending to be a man and doing what he thought men were supposed to do, and he needed someone to tell him he was gravely mistaken. If you don’t mind me saying, sometimes you young people seem determined to do every wrong thing before you pick the right thing.”

“Aunt Jo!”

“What? You’ve had your share of foolishness, young lady, and I should recognize it as well as anyone. Do you think I didn’t make any foolish decisions? I could easily have ended up married, for heaven’s sake.”

“ _You_?”

“It seemed easier, for a while,” Aunt Jo shrugged. “But I recovered from my foolishness, and he might too. It seems that he has.” Aunt Jo smiled as she watched Anne’s shifting expressions. She wondered if the girl knew just how clear it was to everyone that she loved her suitor, however foolish he might be. “You know me, dear girl. If you tell me you want to buy yourself a white dress and swear off men forever, or just this one, I won’t stop you. But, if you really love him, you might consider that he is human and decide to forgive him once and for all. If he does it again, give him hell, for all I care, but do you really think he would?”

“No,” Anne said quietly.

Diana returned just then. “Have you been able to talk some sense into her?”

Aunt Jo eyed Anne with a regal tilt of her chin. “Unclear.”

“Anne, I nearly drowned him in a well after that night, and I _still_ think you should give him a real chance. He loves you, truly, and he’s been doing everything he can to show you.”

“But I can’t understand why,” Anne said, lips trembling. “When you compare me to… _her…_ ”

“I suppose now it is time for me to nearly drown _you_ in a well, young lady,” Diana said. “You are my wonderful, brilliant, loyal, beautiful best friend, and I don’t let people talk about my best friend like that.” Diana raced over to the couch at a most unladylike pace and threw her arms around Anne. “I could walk you through the many reasons why he loves you, but I think I should let him do the honor when you’re ready. And aside from all of that,” she added with a sly quirk to her brow, “he’s hardly the only boy at school who has noticed your better qualities.”

“Come again?” Aunt Jo asked, leaning into the conversation with renewed interest.

“Anne could have enough suitors for every day of the week, I think, if she put her mind to it,” Diana laughed.

“Stop, Diana, that’s not true. They’re just –“

“You don’t know what they are because you don’t care, dearest. Your heart is already claimed, even if it is a little bruised.”

Cole returned home just then, and Anne groaned aloud. Now she had a gang of opinionated friends before her. Wonderful.

Diana hopped up and nearly dragged Cole into the conversation. “Cole, don’t you agree that Gilbert is madly in love with Anne, and that she should try giving him a real chance?”

“Oh yes, it’s pathetic to watch. I want to throw things at both of you. In a week or so I planned to lock you two in a broom closet.”

Anne buried her face in her hands. “I will take it under advisement if you all promise to find a new topic of conversation!”

. . .

Gilbert warned her to be prepared for a long trek on Saturday, so she arrived at their meeting spot with a warm coat, plum puffs, and a book, just in case. She was shocked to find Gilbert already there, along with a carriage, two horses she’d never seen, a picnic basket, and a blanket.

“How…?” She started, surveying the scene before her.

Gilbert flashed her favorite mischievous grin. “Let me have some mystery, but I promise, it was all legally acquired.”

Anne laughed and worried her lip between her teeth before responding. “I guess I did agree to an outing. I just didn’t realize it would be a…journey.”

“It might take us a couple of hours to get there, but…I thought you might like the ride, anyway.”

She let him take her hand and help her into the carriage, and they settled the blanket over their legs before starting off down the road out of town.

“So, are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Victoria-by-the-sea.”

Anne knew the name but couldn’t recall why. “Is there a reason in particular?”

“I’ll tell you when we get there.”

The day was perfect for driving – clear and crisp, with a hint of chill that served only to accentuate the riot of autumn colors and the familiar smell of fallen leaves as they crunched under hooves and wheels. For a while Anne was silent, drinking in the scene before them and mentally adding some lines to the poem she had started the week before. She didn’t know if she would get over her embarrassment enough to actually ever give it to Gilbert, but the words flowed out of her, anyway.

Once again, they fell easily into conversation. Once they could be sure of the other’s feelings, it was incredible how quickly they gave up all pretense and simply chattered away about everything and nothing. For a while, they shared ideas for an upcoming paper, then they discussed exams, letters from home, and the antics of Anne’s housemates. Gilbert was decidedly less interested in discussing his roommate, considering how much time said roommate spent talking about Anne.

“I try to stay out of my room,” he said evasively when Anne asked how it was going. Charlie had in fact asked Anne if he could come for visiting hours (and been kindly rejected), so Anne suspected she knew exactly how it was going.

 _I’m not sure that going public will make that situation easier_ , she thought with some regret. Poor Gilbert. At least she hadn’t had to share a room with Winifred.

Anne was in the middle of describing the topic of her latest article for the school paper, about Canada sending volunteers to South Africa to aid the British in war, when a new scene appeared before her. A seaside village, anchored by three wharves teaming with activity as crews hurried to unload the contents of heavily stocked schooners.

“There it is up ahead – Victoria-by-the-sea. This is the port where they ship in a lot of the goods for the island – much bigger ships than the ferry, you see. This is actually the port where we left on the ship I took to Trinidad.”

“I never imagined that a place like this could be…pretty, but it is,” she marveled.

“I used to come here with my dad,” he said quietly. “He used to talk about all the places the ships were going, and then when we came home, we’d look for those places in the atlas. When he died, I came back here myself and I just…watched the ships, for hours. This is where I decided to go see the world.”

They pulled into the village and walked around for a while, until hunger distracted them both. Gilbert found the local pub with the best oysters in PEI (according to his father), and they brought the oysters, along with the picnic basket, up to a sandy beach overlooking Victoria Harbour. It was the perfect spot for an afternoon picnic, quiet and picturesque. Anne easily coaxed Gilbert into taking a walk along the shore after they finished.

“I feel like the word ‘wanderlust’ was made for the feeling you have in a place like this,” Anne marveled as she watched one of the schooners pull out into the harbor.

“Do you have dreams to travel, Anne?” He asked thoughtfully as he watched her longing expression.

“Not forever, but the world is such an interesting place. I’d like to see some more of it.” She observed him equally closely as she spoke. “And have you seen enough? You came back.”

“I missed home,” he admitted. “Bash…the other guys on the ship, they reminded me that I should be grateful to have a home.” Anne smiled knowingly. She could’ve told him that herself. “Besides, it isn’t like I can never see the world again. It’s just, I want to have a home too.”

“You’ll get to see Toronto.”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I’m about finished with my application. They’ll wait until they see my first semester grades to make a final decision but...if I submit the other materials early I should have a better chance.”

“That’s very exciting,” she said as she turned to him with a genuine smile. Their eyes met and Gilbert could feel his heart pounding painfully in his chest. “As long as it will be as good and not…settling.”

“It’s the opposite of settling,” he replied, voice full of emotion. He hadn’t wanted to bring up painful topics that day, though, so he searched for a safer response. “It’s like Bash said – there’s more than one way to live a good life. I’ll have time this way, to really decide what’s best.”

“Best for your career?”

“For my career.”

Her look was unfathomably tender, and he felt his hands clenching and unclenching as he wrestled with what to do. Should he say she was the choice that mattered most? Should he ask her for more? Was it still too soon? Anne interrupted his panicked internal fight, sliding a hand around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss. He could feel a smile tugging at her lips as he started with shock, before he returned the gesture with equal fervor.

He pulled back for only a second, but he saw her worried expression and he rushed to speak. “We don’t have to,” he said, sounding hoarse. “I meant it – I didn’t have any expectations and I –“

“I know,” she murmured, rising up on her toes to press another soft kiss to his lips. “But I want to.”

Still he didn’t move, staring into her eyes with a mixture of shock and joy. He recovered almost in an instant, though, tangling his fingers into her hair and wrapping his other arm around her waist. Now it was her turn for surprise, and she gave a tiny squeak. She might have expected enthusiasm from Gilbert, but his passion exceeded even her expectations, much to her delight.

“I love you,” he finally said through gasping breaths. “I just…I really wanted you to hear it.”

“I love you very much,” she said simply.

“I love you so much. I…it’s always been you, it’ll always be you – I…”

“Stop trying to outdo me,” she teased, and rose up on her toes again. He was prevented from babbling any further by her wonderful distraction.

Finally, they heard a noise and broke apart, although when no one appeared Gilbert drew her back to him, resting his forehead on hers. He wondered how he would ever survive going back to school and spending days and days in class, unable to touch her like this. She sighed contentedly and leaned into him, and he marveled to himself at how they drew together so comfortably.

“I should have asked before…does this mean that if I ask you to court officially, you’ll say yes?”

“Yes,” she said, and he pulled her impossibly closer. “What exactly were we doing before?” She asked with a small laugh, voice muffled slightly by his coat.

“I have no idea. I am not good at this.”

“I think you’re better than you think. You’re very good at the kissing part,” she assured him. He lifted up her chin and proved again that he was very good at kissing, indeed.


	9. Courtship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert's courtship begins, and their friends have...opinions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is everyone doing this week? I am still okay, and healthy, but I am truly beginning to lose track of time. I cannot remember how long I have been mostly confined to my house, and I've stopped blow drying my hair entirely. Is anyone else acquiring weird habits and forgetting days of the week?
> 
> I hope you are all happy and healthy, and have a wonderful weekend!

Anne discovered that afternoon, to her considerable delight, just how much Gilbert had been holding back before their official courtship began. They spent the rest of the afternoon snuggled close together on the beach, Anne’s head leaning against his chest with his arms circled around her, watching the peaceful scene before them. Occasionally, she would feel his fingers tracing light patterns over her palms and his lips pressing soft kisses into her hair. She began to wonder why romantical novels and poetry made love sound so grand and dramatic, when surely nothing could be better than this quiet, intimate, comfortable afternoon. It felt as though they had been made to spend their days like this, together.

The ride back to Charlottetown was somehow quieter than the ride there, since they were both too full of emotion to behave as they ordinarily would. Anne spent much of the ride resting contentedly on Gilbert’s shoulder, not knowing his secret thrill when he remembered that he had wished for exactly this moment during the ferry ride. Was it only a week ago? It seemed they’d made a lifetime of progress since then. Every once in a while, he would slow the horses and lean over to whisper sweetly in her ear and kiss her cheek, and at one point he stopped the ride entirely on a secluded stretch of road to embrace her thoroughly once again. Anne began to wonder if he’d been fantasizing about kissing even more than she had, considering that he seemed determined to make up for a lifetime of lost kisses in one day.

They talked a little of their evolving feelings during the last few weeks, and it soothed both of them to confess the truth. Anne admitted that Diana threatened to drown her in a well and to Cole’s threats. They did agree to keep things quiet for a while longer, so that they could enjoy their new relationship without enduring the scrutiny facing new couples.

“I will have to tell Diana, oh, and Cole, so that he’ll stop complaining that we’re taking too long.”

“As long as you’re sure.”

“Cole is the soul of discretion. He has to be – he’s best friends with Roy. Just imagine the secrets he keeps.”

“I don’t know – if you don’t tell him then he might lock us in a broom closet,” Gilbert observed with a devilish grin.

“Gilbert Blythe!”

“What? It would suit my purposes just fine.”

“I never expected you to be like this!”

“I didn’t hear you complaining earlier,” he teased lightly, though his voice was soft and left Anne feeling an unfamiliar kind of warmth.

“I’m not complaining,” she assured him in an equally enticing tone, “but be forewarned, two can play at this game, and I am very competitive.”

. . .

Diana faked a headache the second that Anne returned and nearly dragged Anne up to their room.

“So?” She demanded the second the door was closed. “Where did you go? Did you…?”

Anne could hardly hide her excitement. Diana was already muffling her squeals at the sight of Anne’s beaming face before she even had a chance to speak.

“We are…courting -” she paused to still Diana’s leaps into the air, “but not publicly yet!”

Diana pulled her over to the bed and plopped on top of the quilt. “You must tell me everything. Everything. This story should take you hours.”

Anne relived the day as best she could. It had seemed almost like a dream by the time she returned home – as though on the walk home reality had returned and made it impossible to believe that such a thing had really happened to…her. But then, retelling it to Diana, somehow it became real. Diana didn’t think it sounded unbelievable. Diana thought it was exactly the kind of thing that would happen to her. And somehow that made it even more incredible, until she was smiling so hard that she started to feel actual pain in her cheeks.

“So then…I kissed him.”

“Anne!” Diana fairly shouted, until they both went wide-eyed and listened carefully at the door for curious housemates.

“You kissed _him_?”

“Didn’t you tell me to get a move on?”

“Leave it to you to do things no other girl would do.”

“He didn’t complain about it,” Anne announced with a cheeky lift of her eyebrows, causing Diana to muffle another squeal into the pillow and gaze at Anne admiringly.

“One afternoon of kissing and you’re on your way to being a jezebel.”

“You’re one to talk, Diana dearest.”

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing, now did I?” They sat side-by-side for a beat, staring off in the distance, each lost in their own precious memories. Diana’s memory was tinged with considerable regret, but regret hadn’t rendered those moments meaningless, only bittersweet. She wondered if she would have a chance to right her own wrongs, someday. Finally, she shook her head briskly, intent on returning to the business at hand. If she could do nothing else, she would make sure that Gilbert Blythe fully righted his wrongs, even if she had to strap him to the train tracks to do it.

“Things feel…right, though,” Anne confessed quietly. “It was the right time and I’m so, so…happy. No novel or poem could ever prepare me for it,” she said with a shake of her head.

“So now you believe that he truly loves you?”

“Yes,” she said with a firm nod, “truly.”

“I’m so happy for you, Anne,” Diana said, giving her best friend a fierce hug. “Now, how many times did you kiss?”

. . .

Gilbert would have thought that it would be easier to find Anne surrounded by admirers on Monday, but he was gravely mistaken. He felt a surge of jealousy so intense it was almost embarrassing, and he was glad she couldn’t see his expression. _They don’t matter, you idiot, and she’s survived far worse_. _Just imagine how you’d feel if Roy Gardner had proposed and she was honestly considering it._ He tried not to let his guilt get the better of him, these days, but sometimes he still couldn’t believe how blind he had been. He supposed he had a lifetime to make it up to her, but it seemed like he might need every moment of that lifetime to do it.

Still, there was no mistaking the warmth of her expression when she caught his eye, and the guilt and jealousy faded as quickly as they came. She wasn’t the type to lie about her forgiveness, and she had declared in no uncertain terms that she loved him. Their years of doubt and misunderstanding had been replaced with certainty, and it was all that mattered in the end.

“Did you have a nice weekend?” He asked, eyes twinkling.

She was back to looking at him with a tender gaze that he was only beginning to understand, but would crave every day for the rest of his life. His teasing faltered, and he was gazing back with equal intensity. “It might have been the nicest weekend I’ve ever had.”

“Miss Shirley Cuthbert?” The professor called, pulling them both back to reality. She hurried away in an instant, as he watched longingly after her.

“I would tell you that this is disgusting to watch, but it’s less painful than watching you pine for her for the last two years, so I’ll allow it,” Cole observed casually as he slid into his seat next to Gilbert.

“ _Excuse me_?” Gilbert hissed as quietly as he could, hoping desperately that no one else overheard. “Do you think you could keep your voice down? This isn’t public knowledge.”

“Oh, they’re all over there – they can’t hear me. Anyway, I knew you had a crush on her the minute you came back from Trinidad,” Cole said with a shrug. “I told her so, once, but she didn’t believe me.”

“You…did – how…” Gilbert’s heart pounded as he faced the uncomfortable reality that his feelings had been common knowledge for much longer than he anticipated.

“You should’ve spent less time staring at her if you wanted to hide it,” Cole added with a grin.

“Soul of discretion my foot,” he muttered under his breath, before turning back to Cole. “Was everyone talking about this?”

“No, I’m sure some people didn’t notice. Charlie probably noticed but that’s because he wants her for himself – but I’m sure you know that. Alonzo probably wonders since you glare at him now like you want to kill him. I mean, Diana knows…Marilla knows…probably Miss Stacy knows…hey, Roy?” Cole beckoned him over to the desk. “Did you notice Gilbert here is in love with Anne?”

“Cole!”

“Of course I noticed! He walked in the door the first day and looked at me like I shot his dog!” Roy added with his usual good humor, as though being instantly hated was a common and not unwelcome occurrence for him.

Cole smiled in triumph. “See?” He said, gesturing vaguely at Roy.

“You’re constantly trying to set her up with every other man in our class and you never once mentioned my name!” Gilbert exclaimed.

Roy’s face broke into a slow smile. “Did that bother you?”

Realization dawned, and Gilbert stared daggers at Roy. “You were doing it on purpose, you jackass.”

“You were taking too long.”

“Gilbert had some…problems to overcome,” Cole sighed.

Roy leaned forward with interest. “Oh…”

“I have been prohibited from telling you,” Cole said flatly, “suffice it to say the problem is solved.”

“It isn’t the kind of problem I would have, is it?” Roy asked worriedly.

“No, surprisingly, it is both better and worse, but Anne already punished him for it and she’d probably thank us to move on.”

“I’d thank you to move on,” Gilbert muttered.

“No one cares about that,” Roy offered helpfully.

“Oh, right, but we’re not allowed to say anything. So Roy, use your best skill and keep a secret for a while.”

“Noted. As per usual, I see and hear nothing.”

Anne finally returned from her long, animated discussion with the professor, and had only enough time for a fond, gentle glance in Gilbert’s direction before class began. It was enough, though, and Gilbert’s heart was settled in a way he hadn’t felt since a pigtailed redhead came barreling into his life, three years earlier.

. . .

Despite Cole and Roy’s relentless mockery whenever they could find him alone (which was, mercifully, an infrequent occurrence), the next two weeks of secret courtship were probably the best two weeks of Gilbert’s life. It was an entirely different thing to enjoy his sweetheart’s company, when their feelings were clear and he had no need to hide anything. In fact, now the opposite problem arose. He wanted to do nothing all day but hold her hand and gaze at her lovingly, but the rules of propriety prevented such forward actions, even if their relationship had been public. Still, they fell quickly into comfortable patterns the second they were alone – holding hands as they studied, stealing hugs and kisses when the classroom was empty, indulging in long talks and goodbyes that had Anne returning home so late that she hadn’t eaten a proper dinner at the boarding house in days.

One Sunday, he was permitted to join Anne and Diana for tea with Aunt Jo, and there he learned the true meaning of terror. He might have thought Miss Cuthbert severe, but Miss Josephine Barry had the air of a particularly demanding general, and the speech to match.

“You are courting our Anne?” She asked without preamble.

“Yes, ma’am,” Gilbert replied, trying not to flinch away from Aunt Jo's assessing stare.

“Aunt Jo, you really must stop scaring him,” Anne interjected. “I can assure you he’s an excellent beau.”

“Lovestruck girls aren’t always the best judges, Anne-girl. Diana, is he an excellent beau?”

“Now he is,” Diana said with a wicked grin.

Anne shot her a warning glare. “Must you?”

“What? Was I inaccurate?”

Aunt Jo ignored this spat entirely and moved on. “But I am to understand that your relationship is not yet public knowledge.” She turned her hard look back to Gilbert. “He should want to declare himself publicly and ask your parents, properly.”

“I have already written to her parents, ma’am. I assure you that I want to do everything right. I would announce to everyone today, yesterday, whenever, if that is what Anne wants.”

“I am not entirely ready to find out what everyone in Avonlea will say,” Anne confessed.

Aunt Jo’s expression softened. “I am familiar with secrets,” Aunt Jo said with a knowing smile. “I suppose if that is the case, then I should leave you young people to decide in your own time. Just don’t take too long. I am an old woman, after all, and I should like to see you together at one of my parties.”

Gilbert finally left Aunt Jo’s with the vague sense that he had come as closely as he ever would to a police interrogation. He stood with Anne for a moment just outside the imposing front gate of Aunt Jo’s yard, reluctantly preparing to part from her.

“That was fun, _Anne-girl_ ,” he said softly, enjoying the feel of her nickname on his tongue. She bit her lip softly, and he tried very, very hard not to betray the flash of desire he felt.

“Are you going to start calling me that?”

“Do you like it?”

“I wasn’t sure if I did before, but coming from you…I think I could like it.” She had a flirtatious tilt to her head, and Gilbert wondered how she had acquired the talent to make his head spin with want after only a few weeks of courting.

“Well then…good night, Anne-girl,” he whispered, staring longingly at her lips and wishing he could find some excuse to steal her away. Diana was still standing nearby, pointedly looking the other direction. He seized his chance and pulled her in for a quick, but very thorough, kiss.

Just as he was about to go, he heard Anne’s voice one more time.

“Gilbert?”

“Yes?”

She took a deep breath and held his gaze evenly. “On Saturdays, we can receive suitors between 2 and 4.”

Gilbert pursed his lips, but he couldn’t hide his glee. “Is this information I should keep in mind, next Saturday?”

“Yes,” she replied before grabbing Diana’s arm and hurrying through the gate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should’ve said in the last chapter, about Aunt Jo – part of the reason I wanted her to say something is that I realized that neither of them have much in the way of role models when it comes to long-term romantic relationships. I know Gilbert had Bash and Mary for a little while, but even they were only together for…a year and a few months? In a way, even they were still in a honeymoon phase, and being married for years and even decades is very different from a year or two. I think it’s helpful for them to have the example of someone who was in a lifelong relationship. Even couples in love over decades have often survived some huge mistakes, and the perspective can be very helpful.


	10. Visits and Sacrifices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday visiting hours are very exciting for the courting set, and Anne and Gilbert face an unexpected turn of events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone had a good weekend and you're staying happy and healthy!

Gilbert was certain that he only knew a tiny fraction of what he needed to know about being a suitor, but he thought he’d picked up a few things about the all-important visiting hours (by listening in on his friends and classmates, mostly). Point one, show up to promptly at two o’clock (not that he’d give up a single minute he could spend with Anne, anyway). Point two, do not incur the wrath of the famously severe Mrs. Blackmore by behaving in an overly familiar manner in her presence. Point three, bring flowers on the first visit.

His friends were immediately on alert when he arrived home in the early afternoon, carrying a large bouquet of chrysanthemums and snapdragons in bright fall colors. He worried that he should have started with roses, as Roy often suggested (without prompting), but Gilbert knew that Anne loved the mums she grew along the path to Green Gables, and anyway, she’d spelled chrysanthemum correctly during a spelling bee, once.

“What’s with the flowers?” Charlie demanded as soon as he entered their room. Gilbert turned in alarm when he heard a noise behind his back and realized that Moody and one of the Pauls were standing in the doorway. _It’s possible these people are nosier than Bash._ The thought made his guilt rise to the surface. It was too bad that their relationship would be public before he’d written to Bash, but he had no intention of refusing Anne’s request to visit her today. In any event, he would be home for midterm break in just a few days, and it seemed like more fun to experience Bash’s gloating in person. Bash was sure to be insufferably smug, but under the circumstances Gilbert didn’t mind.

“I’m visiting someone today,” he replied, turning to the mirror to fuss with his hair and wishing he didn’t have an audience while he struggled to make himself presentable. _I don’t know why you bother; the hat always ruins it anyway,_ he thought in despair. Maybe he needed to start using some kind of pomade....

Charlie’s voice interrupted his musings again. “You’ve finally decided to go after a girl this year?”

“No, I’m visiting the Dean,” Gilbert replied in exasperation, and he saw Paul snort a little at his churlish response. Gilbert sighed and tried to tamp down his annoyance. “Yes, the flowers are for a girl and I’m going to see her this afternoon.”

“Are you going to tell us who it is?” Apparently, Charlie did not accept subtle cues that he should stop asking.

“Is it important?”

“That depends,” Charlie shot back with a suspicious glare.

“Just let me get through a visit first, please? I have to come back here tonight, after all.”

He tried to sneak out of their boarding house while the rest of them were still busy preparing for their own visits, but he soon heard footsteps behind him. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw only Moody catching up.

“It seems like we’re heading in the same direction,” Moody ventured carefully.

“You’re off to see Ruby?”

Moody nodded and grinned. “Let me guess…Anne?”

Gilbert had been sufficiently informed by Cole and Diana (and Roy, in his jackass way) that his behavior toward Anne was less than subtle, so Moody’s correct guess was hardly a surprise. Gilbert didn’t bother hiding his glee when he nodded. “You knew?”

“Not for certain but…you aren’t spending every afternoon studying with any other girl. I doubt you need a study partner that badly. Besides, you’re on your way to Mrs. Blackmore’s, aren’t you?”

“Good powers of deduction.”

“I always kind of wondered, but you never said anything so…”

“I thought I had closed that door the day we met,” Gilbert admitted, “but it seems like I was wrong.”

“Anne knows you’re coming?”

Gilbert nodded again and anxiously peered at the bouquet, looking for the slightest imperfections.

“So, you’re courting?” Moody asked, sounding pleased at the prospect.

“Openly, as of today.”

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you this excited, Gilbert. I’m not exactly sure what to do with it.”

“Like you don’t fall all over yourself in front of Ruby.”

“Let’s be honest, I fall all over myself anyway.” They both chuckled together at that not-inaccurate observation.

“Doesn’t seem like Ruby minds.” Gilbert elbowed him a little and enjoyed Moody’s embarrassed grin.

The spent the rest of the walk trading ideas for impressing their sweethearts. Gilbert hadn’t really considered the possibility before, but having a friend to talk to like this was really…fun. It was different than going to Bash for advice or listening to Cole and Roy’s constant ribbing. Moody was as excited about Ruby as he was about Anne. He’d become so used to suffering alone, feeling the pangs of seemingly hopeless longing for Anne without confessing to anyone. His father had seen through his crush and had sincerely encouraged him, but after that he could never begin to imagine sharing something so personal with someone who didn’t know him as his father had. Now, he dared to share his excitement with a friend, and it was surprisingly nice.

“I’ve started bringing her snacks after class. I’d get something better than apples and bread, but at this rate I’m going to go broke just feeding her and taking her out on weekends,” Gilbert confessed.

“Ugh, I know, courtship is expensive isn’t it? I haven’t figured out how I’m going to afford Ruby’s Christmas present,” Moody groaned. “And you’re going to go broke even faster if you keep buying flowers like that, you know.”

Gilbert grimaced. “Oh no, I hadn’t thought about Christmas. What am I going to get her??”

“Well if you are worried about money, Alonzo from your class said the other day that he knows someone in town who needs part-time workers for loading at the docks.”

“That’s not a bad idea – although I doubt he’s going to help me,” Gilbert mused.

“Oh…right, he’ll be pretty unhappy to find out you stole Anne,” Moody laughed.

“You can’t steal something that doesn’t belong to someone else in the first place,” Gilbert grumbled.

“I wouldn’t say that if you want him to help!”

“Maybe I should go back to my old boss on the docks. Being nice to Alonzo probably isn’t going to happen.”

“I get it. George Richland from our class keeps trying to invite Ruby to concerts and I think I want to smother him.”

“Murder is probably a black mark when you’re trying to enter the clergy.”

Moody gave a regretful nod, but they were prevented from plotting against any more unwelcome suitors when they had arrived at their destination. Gilbert swallowed hard as Moody stepped up first to knock on the front door.

“Gilbert!” Ruby exclaimed in surprise. “How nice to see you here but, er, you aren’t here to see _me_ , are you? Because I’m sure you know that Moody –“

“He’s not here for you, Ruby,” Diana interjected with a patient sigh as she hurried into the hall.

“Oh, _thank goodness_ , that would be awkward,” Ruby replied cheerfully. “But then…who?”

It seemed that everyone in the boarding house was interested in that question, because new people had materialized from every door, and Gilbert was beginning to feel a little claustrophobic. He was about to brave the crowd and say something when he heard a voice from the stairs.

“He’s here for me.”

She was wearing the blue velvet dress she had worn on the first day of school, the one that made her always gorgeous skin look even more brilliant and inviting than usual, and her hair was swept into her sophisticated, womanly style, the one that still struck Gilbert every morning. He thought her hair was beautiful no matter what she did, but when she was dressed like this, so elegant and lithe, he felt even more acutely the import of what they were doing. He wasn’t just a boy with a crush anymore, and she wasn’t just a nervous girl. He was declaring something real, for everyone to see, and there would be no going back.

At first, silence hung in the air as their friends snapped their gazes first to Anne, then to Gilbert, then back to Anne. It seemed as though they were all absorbing Anne’s words, Gilbert’s adoring expression, and a thousand clues they’d noticed but dismissed before that day, in one overwhelming moment.

“You two are courting?!” Ruby finally cried, nearly crushing Gilbert’s precious bouquet as her arms flailed with excitement.

“And Anne swore up and down that you two were just studying all those afternoons,” Tillie giggled. “I’ll have you know I never believed it for a minute.”

"They must have been doing some studying, since they're still at the top of their class," Jane pointed out.

“At least Gilbert was smart enough to bring flowers, unlike _some people we know_ ,” Josie said with an exaggerated sneer.

“I know, Josie, it is a mark against Paul 1. But I still haven’t decided, alright?” Tillie answered, hands on her hips.

Anne had hurried past the crowd as they chattered, eyes fixed on Gilbert, seemingly impervious to their audience. He fought every instinct and made no move to touch her, but he supposed the look on his face was probably scandalous enough. _She’s so pretty, and she’s mine_.

“How nice to see you here,” she said with a hint of teasing in her voice. “Isn’t this pleasant?”

They exchanged a secret smile, and her gaze dropped from his adoring expression to the overflowing bundle of blooms in his arms. “Are those for me?” she asked.

He nodded, and their fingers brushed a little as she took the bouquet from his hands and admired it. _I hate Mrs. Blackmore’s rules already_ , he thought as she pulled away from him. “I thought you would like the colors.”

“They’re like the ones at Green Gables!”

 _Yes_ _, it worked._ “That’s what I thought, too. Plus, you know how to spell chrysanthemum.”

That obviously surprised her, but she recovered quickly and replied with another secret smile, “As you recall, I know how to spell a lot of things.”

“I’ve learned a few that I got wrong, too, since I might need them someday.” He wasn’t sure she would understand his meaning, but since she blushed and bit her lip, just a touch, he suspected she knew exactly what he meant. As he fought another urge to kiss her, he remembered why he wasn’t permitted to do any such thing. He looked up at their audience, who had returned to gawking at them in silence.

“This is very strange to watch,” Josie announced.

“I think it’s sweet!” Ruby objected.

“I want to know how this happened!” Tillie added.

“I suggest you all sit properly in the parlor and ask your questions like civilized people instead of shouting in the hall,” Mrs. Blackmore admonished the group. Sufficiently chagrined, the young people trudged into the parlor and settled onto the sofas and chairs, doing their best to remain quiet and dignified. Mrs. Blackmore nodded approvingly as she surveyed the scene before her and turned to return to the kitchen after leaving instructions to Lily to act as chaperone.

The ladies listened attentively to Mrs. Blackmore’s retreating footsteps, then turned immediately back to Anne and Gilbert with renewed interest.

“So?” Tillie demanded. “You never did say if you are courting.”

Gilbert jumped in immediately. “Yes, I was able to convince her,” he answered with a delighted twinkle in his eye. Anne opened her mouth to object, but Gilbert’s confession had her friends on edge.

“When did you know?” Ruby demanded.

“What did you do?” Tillie said at the same time.

“Is that why she’s turned down _all_ those other suitors?” Josie added immediately thereafter. “I thought she was crazy for turning down Edward’s suit.” Diana tried subtly elbowing Josie into silence, but Josie pointedly ignored her.

“He’s been here for two minutes! Maybe we should serve some tea first before we accost him?” Anne pointed out desperately. “And he is here to visit me, you know.”

“If you didn’t want us to ask him questions, you shouldn’t have surprised us, Anne,” Josie replied hotly.

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Tillie giggled. “We would’ve asked him anyway.” Four carefully coifed heads nodded sagely at that observation, while Diana pursed her lips in amusement. Their friends were so very nosy about anything to do with suitors. On the other hand, she’d taken it upon herself to verbally attack Gilbert into oblivion, so she was hardly one to talk.

“I don’t mind if they ask,” Gilbert reassured Anne, placing a gentle hand over hers, before remembering the rules and snatching it back. Their friends had noticed, though, and their reactions varied from wide-eyed surprise to bemused.

Gilbert took a deep breath. “I always thought that Anne was…special. You might remember I said she was cute that first day I was at school, Moody.”

“I’d forgotten about that!”

“You really called me cute?” Anne was obviously delighted with this revelation.

“I guess I really like red-haired pigtails, what can I say?”

“Has someone replaced him with a completely different person?” Josie asked in a stage whisper.

“Eat a scone and be quiet, Josie,” Diana sighed, shoving a plate into her hands.

“Anyway, I was finally brave enough to do something about it when we came to Queen’s. I guess it was just the right time for us.”

“But what did you do about it?”

They had agreed in advance on what they planned to say to their friends, both being firmly of the opinion that some information was not everyone’s business. Gilbert gave them the basic story, with a few added comments from Anne. Normally, he would have let Anne take the lead (she was undoubtedly the better storyteller of the two), but we wanted their friends to have no doubt of his enthusiastic and constant efforts to win her heart. He’d wanted nothing less for three years, and he wasn’t risking any misunderstanding or doubt anymore.

By the time he was done, both Pauls had arrived, along with two other young men who had come to see Josie and Jane.

“So when I asked her to court during our outing, she said yes.”

“I had to say yes when he took me somewhere so beautiful,” Anne chimed in, eyes misty with memory. She caught Diana’s delighted grin out of the corner of her eye, as well as Josie’s amused eyeroll.

“But have you kissed?” Tillie pressed when the story was over.

“That is not a question for afternoon tea!” Anne exclaimed as color rose in her cheeks.

Tillie scanned their friends’ expressions. “So we all agree that is a yes.” There was not a ‘no’ to be found in the room. Even Lily gave her two cents on the matter.

. . .

Gilbert was in no hurry to return to his own lodgings after visiting hours were over, so he headed to the Queen’s library to continue studying for their exams. Anne was going to try to study at home, but she worried that her friends might interrupt constantly to ask more questions.

“Maybe we should have waited to tell them until after exams,” she moaned. “I’ll never hear the end of it tonight!”

Still, Anne was still smiling fondly at him as he departed, and he was still savoring the memory of the day when he returned to his room as late as curfew permitted.

“So,” Charlie started as soon as Gilbert opened the door, “you went to see Anne?”

“Yes, I did,” he replied, fixing his attention on his notes rather than spending any more time observing Charlie’s sour expression.

“I guess you’ve staked your claim, then?”

Gilbert glared at him out of the corner of his eye. “Let me give you a tip, okay? I know very little, but don’t ever let a girl hear you talk like that. She isn’t a farm.”

“But…”

“We’re courting, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I always figured you were my biggest rival.”

“I can’t fault you there – you were right all along.”

. . .

Gilbert arrived the next day to escort Anne back to Aunt Jo’s (much to his dismay, Aunt Jo had informed him in no uncertain terms that these visits would occur weekly and that his attendance was expected). He had been studying for midterm examinations with furious intensity, using up every moment that he could spare, other than those he set aside to see Anne. He was still more fearful of Aunt Jo than he was of any disappointed professor, so he appeared at Anne’s door as instructed. The exams would last for three days before their midterm break, starting tomorrow, so he would have a few more evenings for additional study.

He was not at all expecting the sight that greeted him when Anne opened the door and flew out at him. The tears were flowing down her cheeks and he caught her firmly in his arms. She let out a shuddering sigh the moment his arms circled her waist, then buried her face in his neck.

“I’m always happy to see you but…I don’t think I’ve ever been happier about it than I am right now.”

“You don’t look happy, Anne-girl,” he whispered, his fingers tracing soothing circles on her back. “What’s the matter?”

It took Anne a moment to collect herself before she pulled back and dashed the tears from her cheeks. “I’ve had a telegram – from home. Well, from Rachel Lynde, really. She said,” Anne paused and took in a deep breath, “she said Matthew has had another…episode of some kind. They’re not sure yet how bad it is.”

“You said he had one of these before, didn’t you?”

Anne nodded, and her face scrunched up with worry. “It’s probably worse if it happens again, isn’t it? The telegram said he’s unconscious…,” she collapsed into sobs again and Gilbert drew her back to him. When her cries finally settled, Gilbert gently led her inside to Diana, who was waiting anxiously.

“Will you be alright here with Diana? I need to make some arrangements and then I’ll come right back, okay?” Anne still looked troubled but calmer as he prepared to leave, though she was very puzzled when he asked to borrow the telegram. He dared to caress her cheek and place a soft kiss at her temple before he left. Propriety would have to step aside today. Anne needed him.

. . .

Anne and Diana witnessed Gilbert’s return through the window. He was running at breakneck speed, hat in hand, and came to a screeching halt when he saw Anne walk through the door. She descended the steps slowly as he struggled to catch his breath.

“We’ll be able to go back to Avonlea tomorrow.”

“To-tomorrow?” Anne stammered.

“They will let us take the tests first thing in the morning tomorrow and we’ll leave in the afternoon when we've finished. There should be enough time to make it to Green Gables before it's dark.

“Three days’ worth of tests in one?! But…you’ll miss out on all that preparation time!”

“Don’t worry about that.”

“No – I’ll take the tests tomorrow and go back alone. I’ll see you in a few days anyway.”

“It’s done, Anne. It’ll be fine. Don’t you think the two of us have prepared enough? Why did we spend all that time for weeks studying after school on those hard chairs if not to prepare?”

“No, I won’t let you! You need those grades for U of T!”

“Anne…”

“No! I won’t let you miss out on anything else because of me!” Anne’s voice quavered for a moment and her hands began to shake, until Gilbert reached out and wrapped his fingers around hers.

“Stop right now. First of all, I’ll be a doctor, one way or the other. There is more than one way to make this happen.”

“But –“

“Anne, that’s enough.” Anne was temporarily shocked out of her upset. Gilbert didn’t usually take that tone with her. He pulled her back into a hug. “I’m not sending you home alone. You matter more than any test and more than U of T. I know you’re not making me choose, but I need you to know that. You matter to me most, and I’m not sorry about it at all.”

“I just don’t want you to regret…”

“Anne, if Gardner offered to take you on a tour of the world right now in exchange for leaving me, would you do it?”

“That ridic –“

“Don’t even try it. He would. You could actually get a tour of the world if you wanted one,” Gilbert scoffed.

“Fine,” she huffed through her tears. “No, I wouldn’t.”

“But wouldn’t you like to take a tour of the world?” She was still eyeing him skeptically, so he continued. "I'm not the only one who's ever had other choices. I don't regret putting you first, and I won't regret putting you first."

Anne rolled her eyes, just a touch. “Point taken.”

“So, we’re taking the exams tomorrow and I’m going back to Avonlea with you, because I want to be with you.”

It wasn’t the time for romance, so he didn’t kiss her as he longed to. Still he held her in his arms for a scandalously long time, until Lily poked her head outside and warned Anne that he should leave before Mrs. Blackmore had an affliction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ETA - I have been informed that the ending of this chapter is bumming some people out. :( Sorry! Rest assured there is a point and I won't make you sit through a chapter that's just endless sadness next time, I promise. I hope that helps improve the experience...
> 
> I realize that getting the school’s leadership to change the entire test schedule for the two of them is…not the most plausible thing I’ve ever done, but why write fiction if not to make up wild shit sometimes? Also, I figured the administration might be willing to make an exception for their two best students (he borrowed the telegram so that he’d have some evidence that he didn’t make the whole thing up). In my mind, Aunt Jo is going to have someone take them straight to Green Gables in a carriage or something, and the school is accepting that explanation as a reason to think that the two of them won’t see their friends and be able to give them answers in advance. See? I did kind of think this through…
> 
> Also, personal story time – seven-year-old me watched the 80’s Anne of Green Gables so many times (by borrowing the neighbor’s copy!) that I had memorized the spelling of chrysanthemum (the word Anne spells), much to the surprise of my second grade teacher. 😊Also, apparently the guy who played Gilbert in that series (Jonathan Crombie, sob, and RIP) decided that Gilbert was a bad speller and used to make Megan Follows (Anne) laugh between takes by spelling all kinds of words wrong. No wonder they were so cute together.


	11. Time to Go Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert and Anne hurry back to Avonlea and face their families.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH, I am truly sorry that this took so long. My explanation is that life is hard right now and my brain is a little fried, for whatever that's worth. It continues to be a joy to write when I can get the time! 
> 
> As always, I am so grateful for your kudos and comments. I hope you are well, and please take care of yourselves.

The trip to Green Gables was mostly silent. They were exhausted from a marathon day of exams and worried about what they might find when they finally arrived. The only bright side was that Aunt Jo was kind enough to send along a closed carriage and a driver to escort them home. It was far warmer and more luxurious than any accommodations they would have been able to secure for themselves, and it afforded the opportunity for Anne to spend the entire trip curled onto Gilbert’s lap. He thought at one point that she might have fallen asleep, but for the most part, she simply leaned against him and enjoyed the comfort of his loving embrace. Every once in a while, she would give a shuddering sigh, and he’d check her face in alarm to see if she was crying.

It was already dark when they arrived at Green Gables. Marilla peered out the door in confusion as the carriage pulled around the driveway, since she wasn’t aware that they were coming. Anne felt certain that she would object, and she was proven correct almost the moment her feet hit the ground.

“Anne Shirley Cuthbert! What in heaven’s name are you doing here?” Marilla demanded. “How could you leave school in the middle of examinations?! I was given to understand that examinations are not optional, young lady!”

Anne smiled perhaps a bit more widely than was prudent. Marilla’s lecture was oddly comforting - at least some things hadn’t changed.

“I received a telegram from Mrs. Lynde about Matthew – of course I had to come! Did you ever think I would sit around in Charlottetown, in the depths of despair, not knowing if he is alright?!”

Marilla’s face went hard and she shouted, “Rachel!” at a volume that had both Anne and Gilbert jumping back in alarm. “Now what are you doing here?!” That question was directed to Gilbert, who hadn’t been noticed in the gloom of the unlit yard while he collected their bags and thanked the driver before he departed again.

“I didn’t want Anne to come alone, ma’am,” he admitted softly, gaze flitting anxiously between Anne and Marilla.

“Marilla, what is happening down here?! Are you—” Rachel stopped short when she saw Anne and Gilbert standing on the doorstep. “Where did you two come from?”

“Did you write a telegram to Anne?” Marilla demanded.

“Matthew is in grave medical danger, Marilla,” Rachel replied with an imperious look in her eye. “I thought the girl deserved to know.”

“Next time, I will decide whether to interrupt my daughter’s studies, Rachel,” Marilla retorted, returning Rachel’s defiant stare with a haughty stare of her own.

“Where is Matthew?” Anne cried, unable to wait a moment longer.

Glaring contest temporarily forgotten, Marilla drew her arm around Anne’s shoulders and led her inside. “He is resting in his room. He woke up for a little while this afternoon.”

Gilbert trailed behind them, trying his very best not to notice Mrs. Lynde’s expression now that she had taken a moment to fully consider his unexpected presence. She closed the door behind them and followed Gilbert swiftly, practically boring a hole in his head with her eyes.

Anne and Marilla were speaking in hushed tones as they approached Matthew’s room. Gilbert hesitated, wondering if he should stay behind. He didn’t want to leave Anne’s side if she needed him, though, and he certainly didn’t want to stand in the kitchen and let Mrs. Lynde do…whatever it was she was doing. Attempting to extract information from him through sheer discomfort, it seemed.

Matthew was sleeping peacefully when they entered the room, but it was clear he wasn’t well. He looked thinner than usual, and even in the light of the lone lantern, his skin was pale and sweaty. Anne let out a small sob as she looked at him, and Gilbert reached for her instinctively. She dropped her head to his shoulder as he wrapped a comforting arm around her waist.

“Shhhh, Anne-girl, Matthew wouldn’t want to hear you crying when he wakes up,” he whispered. “He’s still with us.” Gilbert could feel her nodding against his shoulder, and she gave him a small smile when she lifted her head.

Marilla cleared her throat loudly enough to bring their tender exchange to an abrupt end. “Perhaps I should make you some supper.”

They eyed each other nervously and shuffled out of the room, though Anne stopped first to give Matthew a gentle kiss on his forehead. “I’ll come back in a little bit,” she murmured.

It appeared that Mrs. Lynde wasn’t going to stop staring anytime soon. Anne and Gilbert hurried to help Marilla set the table and prepare the food. They thought perhaps Mrs. Lynde would cease her attention if they were all busy, but they were sadly mistaken.

“Gilbert,” she finally started, unable to contain herself any longer, “it was awfully kind of you to accompany Anne home. I thought your exams weren’t finished yet?”

Gilbert looked up at Marilla, who clearly also wanted to know just what academic disasters might befall them both for leaving school early. “I arranged it with the administration – we took our exams early and came straight here when they were over. Miss Barry was kind enough to offer the use of her carriage.”

The answer seemed to have mollified Marilla, but now Rachel was even more curious. “That is quite a sacrifice to make for your classmate.”

“We’re courting, Mrs. Lynde. There, happy?” Anne finally interjected with a roll of her eyes, knowing full well that Mrs. Lynde would prod for hours until she had the answers she wanted.

“Well, my word…” Rachel sputtered as she turned her head. “Did you know about this, Marilla?!”

“Yes, Gilbert wrote to us for permission.”

At that moment, Gilbert was exceedingly gratified that his beloved Anne-girl already knew him well, because she seemed to instantly understand that the panicked rising and falling of his brows was meant to silently convey that he _most certainly asked for their blessing and did not ask for permission because he knew good and well that Anne would consider such antiquated nonsense to be abhorrent and would surely punish him for it_. She beamed back at him and mouthed a silent, “I know,” which allowed his heart to settle back to a normal rhythm.

“And you didn’t say anything?!” Rachel was evidently still sputtering, which pulled Gilbert back to the present conversation.

“It must have slipped my mind,” Marilla deadpanned.

“Well this is…although now that I think of it the match does make a certain amount of sense…well now you must tell us exactly what happened.”

“I’m afraid there isn’t much to tell, Mrs. Lynde. Sometimes people spend time together and realize what they have in each other,” Gilbert explained. He was careful to keep his response vague, but the unwavering tenderness in his eyes as he looked at his sweetheart said far more than any words ever could. For a moment, Rachel and Marilla exchanged wistful smiles. Neither of them had forgotten the picture of the scrawny, bedraggled little girl who had arrived at Green Gables three years ago, and it was a joy to witness the woman she had become.

Mrs. Lynde might have been more of a romantic than she cared to admit, but it would hardly stop her from meddling. Once the spell of the moment had broken, she returned to her favorite activity – giving courtship advice. “I do hope you’ve been conducting yourselves properly now that you’re _unsupervised_ there in Charlottetown,” Mrs. Lynde finally added with a regretful shake of her head.

Gilbert tried very hard not to think of every indecorous thing he’d ever said or done with Anne, which of course caused him to think of all of them. He knew his face would probably betray his next statement as a complete falsehood, but he tried anyway. “I assure you, Mrs. Lynde, I intend to conduct our courtship properly. I would not give Mr. and Miss Cuthbert cause to worry.”

At the mention of Matthew, Anne’s face fell once again, and Gilbert sucked in a breath to see her distress.

“But for now,” he continued, “I think Anne is exhausted after such a difficult two days. We should probably let her get some rest.”

Mrs. Lynde smiled approvingly to see Gilbert already taking on the role of protective suitor, and although he couldn’t see it, Marilla was also watching the exchange with an appreciative twinkle in her eye.

“I’m going to sit with Matthew,” Anne announced.

Gilbert made his way around the kitchen table and kneeled in front of her chair. Impervious to their audience, he clasped her hand between his.

“I think you’ve hardly slept since you heard the news, Anne-girl,” he said gently. “How about…if I sit with Matthew tonight, and you rest. I promise, I’ll call for you if anything happens.”

“If you promise to call for me if he wakes,” she agreed, already standing and shuffling toward the stairs as she let out a weary yawn.

. . .

It didn’t take much to get back in Jerry’s good graces. Jerry returned from evening chores not long after Anne collapsed into bed that night and started in surprise when he found Gilbert at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of tea and staring off into space.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in Charlottetown?” was Jerry’s only question.

Gilbert tensed at the wariness in his voice. He wasn’t sure what to expect after their last meeting. “I came back with Anne after she heard what happened.”

“She let you?”

“Yes. We’re…courting.”

Jerry nodded slowly. “I guess your apology apples worked, then.”

Gilbert chuckled. “It took a lot more than one bushel of apples.”

“Sounds right. This is Anne we’re talking about.”

“Thankfully apples grow every year, in case I need to apologize again.”

“They were good – I don’t mind if you apologize every summer,” Jerry laughed. “Now…maybe she won’t talk about you all the time to the animals.”

“She’ll still talk to the animals. As you said, this is Anne.”

“Right, that was too much to hope,” Jerry said mournfully.

. . . 

Gilbert and Jerry were busy finishing morning chores when they heard the barn door creak open.

“I came to offer some help—” Bash stopped short when he saw Gilbert standing in Belle’s stall, pitchfork in hand. “Why aren’t you at school?!”

“Um…let’s talk outside for a minute.”

Bash was already grinning before they even stopped. “Is this some fool Blythe way of getting back in Anne’s good graces?”

Gilbert couldn’t help but grin back. “I meant to come over when I was done so that I could tell you, but…Anne and I are courting.” He tried to keep his voice casual, but in the end he failed completely. Excitement radiated from his face and he bit his lip to keep from saying any more.

Bash glanced around for a moment to make sure they were hidden from view, before he let out a quiet exclamation of triumph and clapped Gilbert on the shoulder, nearly toppling him over as he slung his arm around Gilbert’s neck. By the time they both recovered, Gilbert’s already unkempt hair looked positively wild.

“I…WIN! From the moment you got her letter on the ship…I called it! I knew it! I knew it would end up like this.”

“I really didn’t think it would,” Gilbert confessed, as the memory of old regrets and pains made him wince.

“But you tried, Blythe, and it happened anyway. That’s what matters.” Gilbert nodded, still grinning from ear to ear. “Don’t think you gonna get out of telling me what happened. Did you end up begging? I always thought that was your best chance. I can’t imagine that you’re any better at playing an instrument than you are at cooking.”

“I went with the war of attrition.” At Bash’s puzzled look, he added, “I spent every minute I could studying with her and spent half my pocket money on picnics and apples. It was either that or risk that Alonzo or Edward or…God forbid, Roy Gardner, decided to press his suit.”

“You had competition?”

“They wanted to be competition, at least.”

“But you wouldn’t let them?”

“I’m here and they’re not, right?”

“Blythe decided to fight…” Bash mused in admiration. “Good for you. It’s better than giving her up for no damn reason, that’s for sure.”

“I’m not making that mistake again,” Gilbert said firmly. “Anne knows where I stand.”

“So, she knows you’ve been a lovesick fool for years and probably stared at her like a moke from across the schoolroom?”

“She knows enough.”

Gilbert felt a familiar kind of dread bubbling to the surface as he watched Bash’s face twist into a cunning smile. “Oh, I’m sure we can find something interesting to tell her.”

Gilbert was left trailing behind Bash as he sauntered toward the house, begging for mercy and promising to do any chore that Bash could imagine as long as he would cease whatever humiliation he was current plotting. Bash ignored him entirely and Gilbert’s fruitless pleas fell silent as they neared the porch, to be replaced by resigned groans.

Anne emerged from Matthew’s room when she heard Bash calling for her. “Bash!” she exclaimed happily. “It’s wonderful to see you!”

“Anne Shirley Cuthbert, it does my heart good to see you smiling,” Bash replied warmly. “How is Matthew?”

Her smile was melancholy but hopeful. “Well enough to talk for a little while. Oh, how I’ve missed all of you! You simply must tell me every exciting tale that has transpired while we’ve been away!”

Bash nodded his agreement, then fixed her with a conspiratorial smirk. “But first, it sounds like I need to tell you just how much this one over here,” he said, jerking his head in Gilbert’s direction, “was _dying_ for you to pay him any mind.”

As he listened to Bash reveal every longing glance and silly smile (Bash’s words, not his) that Gilbert had ever displayed in Anne’s presence, Gilbert sat and tried to determine if there was a way that he could have lived his life in order to avoid this particular moment of mortification. It seemed that as Bash spoke, though, he could see something expanding in her heart. At first, she was disbelieving, then amused, then pleased, and then, as Bash finished probably his tenth story of watching his hapless brother try and fail to please the reluctant object of his affection, adoring and thoughtful all at once.

When Bash had finally tired of his stories, and Marilla had returned from the chicken coop, Anne invented an excuse to drag Gilbert into the parlor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not done dealing with the fallout of Matthew's illness, but I thought we could all use a breather. Plus, this has been my experience with family illnesses in my life - often the ill person is out of it, and so much of the time is spent sitting with other family members and waiting. So while they wait...they have to answer questions. :)
> 
> I think there will be a couple more...plot-chapters to this story, and then some more smut-like epilogue chapters. Any objections? I'm open to further suggestions but that's all the plot I've figured out for now!


	12. We're Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne and Gilbert will always be there for each other.

“Is everything alright?” Gilbert asked, voice full of concern. He did not expect Anne to nearly knock him to the ground as she kissed him fiercely. Never one to turn down a kiss from Anne, he returned the gesture with equal fervor, before remembering where they were and stumbling back. “What was that about?”

Her eyes were misty with unshed tears. “I must have made you suffer so much.”

“What?”

“All those times you tried to get me to notice you…every time I yelled at you. I know what it’s like to be rejected. It must have hurt.”

Now his eyes pricked with tears too. “You’re being too hard on yourself. We both know I hurt you, too.”

“I don’t want to do that anymore, for either of us.”

“You aren’t – Anne, these last few weeks have been incredible—”

“I know, but I know my temper, too.” She paused as she remembered Aunt Jo’s advice. “Just…tell me if I ever hurt you, so I can make it up to you?”

“As long as you promise to do the same. And…if I get into U of T…promise me you’ll tell me if the distance is too much?”

“Under no circumstances am I going to be the cause of upending your academic progress anymore, Gilbert Blythe!” she cried, and Bash and Marilla hurried into the room at the noise.

“No one is upending anything,” he assured their nervous audience. “May we please have a few more minutes to talk?” Bash and Marilla, smothering their amused grins, disappeared back into the kitchen.

“What was that you were just saying about your temper?” he teased.

“You are leaving U of T when you have your medical degree, and not a minute sooner,” she insisted, stepping closer until they were nearly nose-to-nose.

He beamed and swept his eyes over her face. It took everything he had not to smother her with kisses when she was feisty like this. It never failed to affect him.

“I promise you that I will achieve my dreams, my Anne with an E, just as I will help you achieve yours. I am merely asking you to remember that U of T isn’t my only dream, and it isn’t my most important dream. So if my Anne needs me, I want to know right away.”

“You might be getting a lot of love letters. They will be many pages long. There will probably be poems. Potentially romantical tales. You’d best prepare yourself for some very thick envelopes.”

“You’d best prepare for some pathetic letters when I simply can’t stand to be parted from you anymore.”

“You’d best prepare for some very romantical homecomings,” she countered with a twinkle in her eye. “Christmases at Green Gables, picnics in the orchard, boat trips along the brook, visits to the shore…”

“I will long for them every day. Now that you mention it, I’m not sure I have ever been in the parlor except at Christmas.”

“It would be nice if we were here for that, rather than…this.”

“I know,” he sighed, wrapping her in a comforting hug. “Matthew was so happy to see you, though, so remember that. And Christmas will be here soon, anyway.”

“You all must come again this year, as long as Matthew and Marilla are up to it.”

“I’ll help you set up the tree.”

“And here I thought you only liked blowing out the candles,” she said, smiling at the memory.

“I just like seeing pretty redheads in the candlelight, standing close to me.”

“So, what would you do, if that happened?”

He stood rooted to the ground, realizing that they were in exactly the spot where the tree normally stood, the spot where he’d first nearly given in to his longing to kiss her. She looked down too, as though she had just realized the same thing.

He paused and listened carefully for the sounds of footsteps nearby, before he placed his hand firmly at her back and drew her close. “I’d do what I should have done the first time,” he murmured, capturing her lips.

. . .

Gilbert had busied himself helping Jerry and Bash with chores for most of the day, while Anne sat with Matthew. He had been awake for a little while and had roused again when the doctor arrived.

“Well, Matthew,” the doctor announced after a listen to his heart, “I think you’ll be able to at least walk a little around the house come tomorrow.”

Supper was quiet that night. Bash and Hazel joined them, and the conversation finally turned to Matthew.

“He won’t be able to go back to his usual routine,” Marilla said with a regretful shake of her head. “We’ll have to think about renting out some of the fields, or maybe taking in boarders again.”

Anne and Gilbert exchanged unhappy glances. After their last experience, Anne had no desire to have any more strangers living in the house. Gilbert knew the story and didn’t relish the idea, either.

“You know, I can help, Marilla, now that I have Elijah to help me with the orchard,” Bash offered.

“And I will be here all summer, too,” Gilbert added.

“And me!” Anne exclaimed.

“My little brother can help too,” Jerry said.

Marilla glanced at each of them in turn, not daring to hope that the solution might already sit before her.

“We can’t say it will be exactly the same, but…we’ll always be here to help you,” Bash ventured carefully.

Marilla was nearly ready to object, and her face was troubled. “It is too much to ask of you.”

“Miss Cuthbert,” Gilbert finally interjected, “we’re family.”

Anne nearly upended her chair as she shot into his arms, causing the entire table to shift, chuckle, gasp, and groan at her boldness.

“Anne, perhaps we could do with a little less exuberance at the supper table,” Marilla noted dryly.

“Shouldn’t we embrace our family?” Anne replied, still not letting going of Gilbert, who was looking sheepishly at the rest of the table.

“I want to make Anne happy, what can I say?” Gilbert admitted with a cheeky grin.

. . .

Anne and Gilbert lingered on the porch, as he prepared to return to his home with Bash and Hazel. They’d sat with Matthew for a while after supper, regaling him with tales of schoolwork and Charlottetown. Gilbert was careful to include plenty of hints that his academic and career progress was going well. Matthew smiled a little, knowing full well that the young man was trying to subtly assure his future father-in-law that Anne would have a secure future, but saying nothing.

Anne dropped her cheerful pretense a little after they left Matthew’s room. “I know the doctor said he’ll recover for now, but I heard what else he said. He will still be very weak.”

“Yes, it is cause for concern.” Gilbert chose his words carefully, not wanting to cause Anne any more pain.

“At this point, we could lose him. It could be anytime,” she whispered, voice wavering.

“Do you remember when I stopped coming to school? Before my father died?”

“Yes.”

“I knew it was coming. I had tried to convince him to let me stay home from school before that, but he wouldn’t let me. He said I needed to think about my future. But when I was home…I read to him, I sat with him, we talked about his travels, that kind of thing. We did as much of that as we could, until the very end.”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t go back to Queen’s?”

“No, I’m saying Matthew will insist that you go back to Queen’s. I bet if you asked, he would be far more upset if you stopped thinking about your future.” He reached out to grasp her hands. “But then, we can come home more often. You can spend time with him and cherish it. You still have him now, so focus on that.”

“You’re really quite good at advice.”

“Some advice. On some topics I can offer no good advice.”

“Such as?”

“Flirting with pretty girls at school.”

“You’re doing a good job of flirting with one right now.”

“Does that mean you’ll let me escort you home some weekends?”

“I think you’re just trying to get out of Sunday tea with Aunt Jo,” Anne said, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I don’t have to escort you home to avoid tea, do I?”

“Oh, Aunt Jo will expect you in attendance even if I am not present.”

“NO – no, you can never leave me alone with her. I’ll have nightmares for months.”

“Then I guess you’ll have to escort me home,” she declared, squeezing his hands and gazing at him fondly.

“Any excuse to spend time with you,” he agreed.

. . .

To the surprise of no one, Anne and Gilbert were still first and second in the class when their exam results were returned.

“Next time I will be first,” Gilbert laughed as they looked over the results sheet.

“I’m not going to let you get into U of T without working for it, after all,” she shot back with a playful smile.

He captured her gaze as their friends chattered around them. “As long as I get to compete with you for the rest of my life, I’m not thinking about anything else,” he assured her, quietly taking her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that’s it for the main plot of this one. They’re together and they’re happy and they’ll weather the storm from here on out, together. They’ve been through enough storms together to know that they can. I’ll have at least one chapter of epilogue-like stuff (probably just smut without much plot because the idea just came to me).
> 
> I've had great fun writing this and reading everyone's insightful comments. You guys are the best. :)


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing to see here but people declaring their love and disrobing, just FYI...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a few years into the future and they’re in college (she’s at Redmond; he’s at U of T) and home for summer break. Matthew is still unwell and doesn’t do as much around the farm as he’d like, but they’re making do. Gilbert hasn’t proposed yet (because Anne doesn’t want him to rush) but of course it’s only a matter of time.
> 
> Tw: mention of Anne’s past abuse but it isn’t graphic (I don’t think?).

Anne had been left behind to tend to the back-breaking work of canning some of their recent late summer bounty, while Marilla accompanied Matthew on business in Charlottetown. Jerry left in the late afternoon so that he could spend his day off with his family. Anne considered spending the night at Diana’s, for there were sadly only a few days left until they would part again. Besides, Matthew and Marilla wouldn’t return until the morning, and she wasn’t entirely sure that she wanted to be in the house alone. After she cleaned up the kitchen and gave herself a thorough scrubbing, she decided that she might as well stop by to see Gilbert. Perhaps she could eat dinner with them instead of sitting all alone at Green Gables.

The Blythe/LaCroix house was silent when she stepped in the door, and she finally found Gilbert out in the orchard, standing on a ladder with half his body tangled in an apple tree.

“Aren’t a few people missing?” she asked by way of greeting.

Gilbert poked out his head and sighed. “It’s a very long story that has something to do with a friend of Mary’s and Elijah needing to smooth over something…anyway, they left this afternoon. Should be back tomorrow.”

“Oh….” Anne couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Sorry…I’m just trying to check the progress on all these trees before the sun sets. Did we say we were meeting?” He ran a distracted hand through his hair just before his face disappeared again as he reached for an apple a few feet away.

“No. I came over because my house is empty and I wanted some company,” she admitted with a small shrug. “Matthew and Marilla are in Charlottetown to talk to those brokers and to see the heart specialist.”

“Oh…right.” Anne couldn’t see his face, and she was exceedingly grateful that he couldn’t see hers. They had never found themselves totally alone in Avonlea before.

Desperate to break the tension, she said, “How about I help with checking? Which trees are yet to go?”

The sun had only just begun to plunge the world into a realm of bright oranges and purples when they finished their task.

“Thanks for that,” Gilbert murmured with a soft kiss to her temple. “I’m sure it was the last thing you wanted to do after canning all day, but otherwise I would have been here for hours.”

They were both famished by the time they entered the kitchen, and they fell upon the bread and cheese in the larder ravenously.

“I can’t imagine heating up the stove to cook right now,” Anne groaned. “I’m already so hot.” The sinking sun had begun to take the heat out of the late summer air, and they threw open the windows to enjoy the breeze. Anne drank in the feel of the air gliding over her face as she watched the trees, still full and green, move and dance with the wind. Lost in the moment, she pulled the ribbon from her hair and let it flow out behind her. Soon the heat at the nape of her neck began to dissipate, replaced by delicious coolness. 

“Feel better?” Gilbert asked, appearing suddenly behind her and wrapping his arms around her.

“Much, but it’s still so warm. Do you have some washcloths around? Maybe I’ll just splash some water on my face.”

Gilbert gathered a pitcher and washcloth and directed her to his room. “You can use my basin so you can have a little privacy. I’ll clean up down here.”

Once in his room, she unbuttoned her shirt a little so that she could drag the cool cloth over her neck and upper chest, wondering if any feeling had ever been so delicious as finally feeling clean after a long day of work. Gilbert had a comb on the dresser, so she set to work undoing the knots in her hair as she looked idly out the open window and daydreamed about what Gilbert must do in this room when she wasn’t around. She pictured him reading books in the chair, sound asleep with his hair mussed and his expression peaceful, unbuttoning his shirt as he…perhaps she should stop daydreaming about what happened in this room.

“I forgot, there isn’t any soap in here—”

The words died on his lips as Anne turned to him. In her very Anne-like dreamy state, she had forgotten that her shirt was half undone, revealing a bare expanse of skin and the thin fabric of her chemise. For his part, Gilbert’s hair and the collar of his shirt were damp from rinsing in the sink, and even the hair on his forearms still sported a few sparkling dots of water. Anne might have thought to be embarrassed by her state of undress, were she not so distracted by Gilbert and the way his disheveled appearance made him even more desirable than usual. It didn’t help that for a moment the look on his face could only be described as hungry, before he caught himself and backed out of the room with a hurried apology.

“Gilbert,” she called after him, gripping her shirt together with one hand as she rushed to the door.

“Yes?” he asked warily, turning back to her just as he’d reached the stop of the stairs.

“It’s not such a big deal, is it? It’s just a chemise.”

Gilbert’s face was half amusement, half desperation. “When it comes to you…there’s no _just_ anything, Anne-girl.”

“That’s because you love me,” she teased, though he could see the yearning he felt mirrored back in her eyes, and his breath began to quicken.

“And you love me.”

“That’s right,” she breathed, now only inches from him, still holding her shirt together.

“And that’s why there’s no _just_ anything for you either, is there?”

She shook her head and worried her lip between her teeth, just before his mouth descended on hers. Her shirt gaped again as she wrapped her hands around his back and gripped him firmly to keep herself from tumbling backwards at the force of his kiss. He slid a hand around her neck, enjoying the feel of the lace of her chemise brushing against his fingers.

She wasn’t sure if she was pulling him or he was leading her, but they were soon back in his bedroom. He closed the door behind them without ever letting up his kiss. She felt his thumb brush lightly over the remaining buttons of her shirt before he pulled away and held her gaze, eyebrows raised in question. She nodded just once, the beat of her heart sounding very loud in her ears. He undid one button, and then another, until he reached the end and she let the garment fall from her shoulders.

“Now you,” she whispered, watching him closely and enjoying his every reaction as she painstakingly slid the buttons free from his shirt and let her fingers wander over each patch of newly exposed skin. It was intoxicating to watch his eyes darken and hear the soft groans in his throat grow louder as her touch traveled lower and lower. She didn’t know what else she might do to elicit this reaction, but she knew she wanted to continue exploring. She loved him so much, and she’d secretly dreamed of his loving touches and stolen kisses for so long. She couldn’t begin to imagine stopping this feeling when she finally had the chance to see it though.

Shirt now entirely loose, she helped him discard it completely. _I always thought he must have nice muscles under those shirts_ , she thought as she eyed him appreciatively and skimmed her hands up his bare arms and shoulders. She watched his eyes follow the path of her touch, those dark eyes turning deliciously fierce.

Gilbert had always been excellent at lavishing attention on her neck until she was sighing his name, but now he fell on her swiftly and thoroughly. She was already gasping and buckling at the knees before he pushed the fabric of her chemise aside as much as he could, apparently determined to kiss and nibble every inch of pale skin he could find. Thinking the entire effort would be easier if they dispensed with the chemise entirely, she lifted her arms.

“Are you sure, Anne-girl?”

“Are you sure?” she murmured in response.

“You must know how much I want you…”

“Then shouldn’t we take the chance tonight, to be together like this, when we’re finally alone? We have so much longer to wait before we can get married…”

“And I hate it, too.”

“We’ve talked about this; we both love being close, and we wish we didn’t have to wait to be closer.”

“You know how much I dream about being married to you – in _every way_ , not just…intimacy like this. That’s what I’ve always meant when I say I wish we could get married now.”

“But this is one part of what we dream about, and I, for one, would like to have a little bit more experience to make my dreams sweeter.” His eyes flashed as she finished her statement and her lips curved into an inviting smile. She pressed a warm kiss to his lips. “I love you, Gil.”

“God, you know how much I love you.” He picked her up and spun her around for a moment, drawing an excited giggle from her that broke a little of the tension in the room.

They exchanged a whisper of a kiss as he settled her back on the ground. “Let’s just enjoy this…whatever we want to do, tonight,” she finally suggested. “We’ll figure it out, together.”

“It probably won’t surprise you when I say that what I want to do involves a lot less clothing than we’re wearing now.”

She muffled her laugh against his bare chest and nodded, and his expression turned hungry again. Her head was spinning just watching him, and her mind kept jumping to think of new ways to make him look at her like that. She trailed a few soft kisses across his collarbone and chest, and the rapid rising and falling she felt under her lips seemed to indicate he appreciated her first attempt at seduction. He started to fumble with the buttons on her skirt when she had an alarming realization.

“Gil”—she pulled back to look at him—“I need to tell you something before you…see me.” Shame crossed her features, and Gilbert’s eyes widened in panic. “You might notice that I have a few…marks.”

“What?” he asked, brows drawing together in confusion.

“Switching can leave…little, thin lines, sometimes,” she explained vaguely. “Sometimes Mr. Hammond wouldn’t realize that he was doing it too hard when he was drunk. It made Mrs. Hammond so mad because then we’d have to clean my dresses of blood and patch them if the fabric ripped.”

Gilbert stared at her in horror and she shrank back. “I know it isn’t very attractive…maybe I should’ve said something sooner in case—”

He cut off her statement with a gentle kiss and nearly crushed her against him.

“I hate knowing they hurt you and I wasn’t there to do anything,” he choked out, and she could feel the tears slipping down his cheeks as she rested her forehead on his. They held each other as they processed their sorrow, for the fear and pain that they couldn’t entirely undo.

“I’m here now,” she whispered, “that’s what matters to me.”

“I’ll always be here with you, as long as I can, as much as I can.”

They resumed kissing, but more tentatively this time. She sensed they were both a little nervous, but neither displayed a hint of desire to stop.

He was down to his underwear before he helped her step out of her skirt, and then slowly lifted her chemise over her head. If she thought he looked hungry before, the expression that crossed his features as he scanned her nearly nude body could only be described as…starving? Famished? Ravenous? Yes, perhaps it was all three.

“I have pictured you like this so many times, but my imagination wasn’t enough. My beautiful Anne,” he breathed as he cupped her face.

“You haven’t seen what the scars look like.”

“I don’t see anything,” he murmured. Certainly, his mind and his body weren’t focused on any scars.

“It’s lower.”

Her back was to him when he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of her underwear and helped guide them over her hips. He kneeled to the ground, coming almost eye level with her scars. The light in the room was fading with the dusk, but still he could trace the fierce slashes across her skin. They had mostly faded and remained only as faint white and pink lines disrupting her otherwise smooth skin. One strayed upwards to curve over her lower back. The rest were further down – several crisscrossed her buttocks, and a few more cut across the tops of both thighs. He fought to hold back tears, not wanting to make her even more self-conscious than she already felt. A couple has been more severe, and the skin was slightly raised where the wound hadn’t healed as smoothly. He pressed a kiss to the small of her back and rested his forehead there for a moment so that he could collect himself before she saw his face.

“I’ll always be sorry that he hurt you, sweetheart, but it has nothing to do with how beautiful you are. I could stare at you like this all night.”

“I didn’t think this was all you wanted to do,” she pouted, turning her head so that she could see him still kneeling behind her.

“It isn’t,” he assured her as he rose up to admire and caress her now-fully exposed figure. “Do you want to see my scar? It isn’t very pretty at all.”

“What scar?”

“Well, I have two, actually. Two big ones. Here’s one,” he showed her, turning so that she could see the shiny patch on his shoulder where he’d accidentally stumbled into one of the boilers while he was on the ship. “And the other…” he untied his underwear and let it drop a little further. “I had something called an appendectomy when I was in Alberta. The scar it leaves is pretty gruesome, huh?”

Anne leaned over and traced her fingers over the long gash just above his hips. He’d long thought he didn’t have much feeling in the area anymore, but the sight of her hands so low on his stomach and the feeling of her breath…the effect was immediate and obvious.

She glanced up at him through her lashes, and her knowing smile was even more affecting than her touch. “I wouldn’t say gruesome. I’d say it’s more…dashing. It makes you seem a little…dangerous,” she said as she drew herself back up to meet his lips and trailed her hands over his torso.

Unable to stand her ministrations for another second, he reached down to grasp her thighs and lifted her up so that her legs wrapped around his waist. “We’ll see what you think about how dangerous I am in a little while,” he said, just before he lowered her to the bed and covered her body with his.

. . .

By the time their minds could be occupied with anything but each other, dusk had long since settled into night. Gilbert lit a lantern so that he could admire his sweetheart a little longer.

“Did I tell you before that I love you so much I can hardly stand it?” he asked, his fingers tracing lightly over her bare shoulder.

“I thought perhaps you were just saying it because I was already half-undressed and you thought this was your best chance to see a woman in the nude,” she teased.

He laughed and snuggled her closer. “I know you’re joking, but I still want you to hear me. You mean the world to me, and I cannot wait to marry you."

She could feel the tears pricking the corner of her eyes. “Perhaps we should pull out one of my poems to you or a love letter because it would be impossible for me to fully convey the depths of my love for you on the spot right now without a thesaurus and several hours to think of every wonderful thing that reminds me of you…starting with sunsets that match the glow of your eyes and—”

Gilbert interrupted her musings with a kiss, knowing otherwise he risked her jumping out of bed and starting to scribble down her ideas for the next poem. “I know; you show me all the time how much you love me. I just…this was a very important day to me, and I wanted you to hear me say it.”

She traced her thumb over his cheek as they captured each other’s gaze. “Anything I do with you is important to me.” She settled her head against his shoulder and enjoyed the way her body draped over his.

“I will be grumpy every time I come to this bed and you aren’t in it,” he eventually admitted with an exaggerated pout.

“I think you’d be a lot grumpier if Bash found me naked on your quilt and never let you hear the end of it,” she laughed.

“Hmmm, you naked on my quilt. The things I’ve pictured doing with you on this quilt….” Anne thought he had already exhausted her capacity to be aroused that night, but hearing the low rumble of his voice and seeing the glint of his dark eyes, she realized that she was sorely mistaken.

“Haven’t we exhausted the things that you pictured?” she asked, clearing her throat nervously. After all, quite a lot had happened on that quilt tonight….

“There are a few more,” he assured her.

“I know there’s intercourse and that can’t happen right now—"

“Another time. We don’t need to exhaust every possibility in one night.” He slid his hand slowly over her hip and hitched her leg over his thigh so that they were pressed against each other again. “I would like to try this again sometime, after all.”

“I’m going to insist on it,” she replied, just before she softly bit his lower lip and realized that he wasn’t quite done, either.

. . .

They finally couldn’t put it off any longer. They agreed that Anne should return home that night, much as they bitterly regretted admitting it. They had already risked plenty of gossip by spending time alone together in the house (to say nothing of the nightmare that would befall them if their family and neighbors learned that their assumptions were true), so they could not risk further trouble by staying together for the entire night. Gilbert insisted on walking Anne home, and they lingered on the porch, still cuddling and kissing.

“I always hate leaving you here but tonight…tonight I truly detest it,” Gilbert admitted, burying his face in her hair and gripping her tightly. “I’ll be worried all night about whether you’re safe and—”

“After what just happened, we don’t need to tempt fate by letting Matthew and Marilla find you in this house. Or would you like them to be suspicious of our activities and attempting to prevent me from spending time alone with you?”

Gilbert would always hate that he didn’t spend enough time with Anne alone, but now it seemed especially imperative to leave open possibilities for romantic trysts. “I’m still worried about you,” he insisted.

“I will come to show you that I am safe at the very first opportunity.” Her goodbye kiss was perhaps a bit more passionate than usual, and Gilbert was groaning with need by the time she pulled away. “Dream of me.”

She could still hear Gilbert’s longing sighs as he disappeared into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did actually check, and appendectomies were a thing back then, although I don't know how common they are. I've seen a foot-long appendectomy scar, so I've decided Gilbert could have one. ;)
> 
> I hope you already know I've had a fantastic time writing this, and I always love hearing from you! I hope you are all safe and well.


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